"Life is about give and take; you know this better than anyone; the deal is clear, either you take an in, or war it shall be.
"It's indeed give and take, so why do I feel like the only one who gives without receiving anything in return?"
"Because th...
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"Tell me to stop."
Taehyung was out of breath, just like you. Was out of control, too. But that was for you to judge. Words faltered. They were missing. Came out stuttering. Wished you would put an end to his misery. Wished you would push him away. So far away from you. Far away from your surroundings. Hell, even out of the whole house so he could cool off. But you looked into his eyes with a look full of need, and this time, he was sure he wasn't seeing things. Because the grip you had on his shirt was firm. Like iron. And damn, he was losing it rapidly.
Was losing his mind in you. For you.
"Do you want to stop?"
See, karma is a real thing and not just a simple myth. For his suffering has become yours. His curse found another victim. His insane need found another brain to infect. His feelings found another heart to torment. And fuck! You began to wonder if every erratic heartbeat you felt near him was the reason you pulled him closer before he could give you an answer. Wished he would forget his loyalty to his lover. Wished he had forgotten about her. And worst of all, you wished he could envision her in you if that meant having his touch, his kisses, his scent near your nostrils so you could inhale it like a drug, because you realized you'd become addicted, and God, was there rehab for you.
"I don't think I can, Yunjae. I don't even think I want to."
His hands held what he said. They were all over you. It was frantic. Unrestrained. On the edge of madness. Closer to vulgar. He touched, felt it wasn't enough, so he kissed, thought he could have done more, so he inhaled your breaths. Rested his forehead on yours. Watched your swollen lips. Loved the way they looked. They were so plump and rosy. So beautiful. Dear lord, he had to stop. Needed your permission. Was scared he would act out his needs without your consent, for he was sure he had already crossed the line of no return.
His body was scalding. Hot coals that burned your skin, and as crazy as it was, you savored the heat. It did things to you that you had never experienced before. It has your heart beating like a bird trying to escape from its cage. And you loved it, although you weren't sure if it was healthy to like such a painful feeling. So you blamed it on a physical need you both had. A kind of stress relief. A primal satisfaction triggered by an attraction that you were sure had deeper roots with you, but you weren't sure if that was the case with him. Still, you found yourself uncaring about his reasons. He had said it once: life is about give and take, and you were willing to give for what you had taken. And if this was what he wanted in return for what he had done for you, you were happy to oblige.
The problem is that you were willing to give even if you hadn't taken anything in return. For this wasn't about your pact. Wasn't about your scheming and dastardly plans. This was about your heart, and damn it, when did your heart start to desire him? When did it all begin? How did it start?
