𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 - A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction

Chapter Eleven - Secrets

Evan passed his junior year of college with flying colors, with Connor by his side to assist in any way he could. Going into his senior year with Connor was the last thing he'd expected to be doing. While Connor wasn't attending, he enjoyed living in a shared space with someone who gave him his alone time, but was also someone he could depend on.

They were each other's best friends, and along with that came benefits. They weren't shy when it came to being intimate, though it wasn't a daily-- or even weekly thing. Occasionally, things would escalate from a movie night in bed to a night of sloppy kissing and slow, passionate love-making.

Evan had tried to keep the same dorm for senior year, but when he was declined, he didn't complain when he walked into the new, clean dorm room. It was larger, the kitchen even had an island. There were two bedrooms, though when Evan showed Connor, he claimed he would turn it into an office for Evan so that he could do his schoolwork without being bothered.

With Connor and Evan's salaries both mixed, they didn't have much trouble with money. Evan didn't go out with friends other than Connor, and they split the bill practically everywhere, so saving up was easy. They spent a few extra hundred dollars buying new decorations for their new dorm, though most of that money went into plants for Evan. Connor insisted they get a sound system for their TV, but Evan refused to waste that much money on something that they would inevitably have to take down due to noise complaints.

Now, with both beds settled into the same room, and the fridge filled with fresh food, Evan and Connor went about their days, working, studying and being together. All was well.

That was, until Connor grew distant, and quiet.

He seemed to always be sick, and when he wasn't sick, he seemed like it due to his waves of depression that would last all day. Evan would try to comfort him and cheer him up, but once he got into that sort of mood, there was no getting him out of it. Only when he was studying in the office room would he hear Connor-- weeping. It was clear he was trying to be quiet, but Evan's heart crumpled when he heard his soft voice and muffled sniffles.

Evan wanted to help him, he wanted to understand the problem so that he could make him feel better, but Connor always claimed that he was just having an, 'off day'.

He knew he was lying, obviously. Nobody has several 'off' weeks in a row, especially when nothing seemed off to Evan. One day they were hanging out, laughing and eating together, and the next day Connor was quiet, and he had remained like this- until now.

Evan made his way into the shared bedroom of he and Connor, having been in the office working before. "Hey, Connor?"

A lump in the mattress to the right was Connor, curled up under his comforter and sheets. He lay sideways, his knees curled up to his chest and head laying on his arm, watching his phone screen as he absentmindedly scrolled up on Tiktok videos, his thumb subconsciously swiping every video that wasn't of interest to him. He had two blankets over his comforters, trapping the heat under the blankets and keeping Connor's body warm. He had pillows all over his bed, most of them Evan knew were for muffling cries, but they were all very decorative.

"Hm?" He responded, not caring to look up-- or not having enough energy mentally to do so.

"What's been going on?"

Connor closed his eyes for a moment, setting his phone down and slightly shuffling down to curl the blanket over his hand and tuck it under his chin. "Nun."

Evan rolled his eyes, making his way over to the bed and sitting beside it, getting onto his knees. "Doesn't seem like nun. You've been very quiet recently. I miss hanging out with you."