Unwanted [COMPLETED]

Chapter 21

Vikrant

"The reason I married—" I begin to say, but Nandini interrupts me.

"I don't want to know."

"But why? You deserve to know."

She shakes her head and sighs deeply before speaking. "Maybe I do. But I don't want to know because it no longer matters to me. It will neither change the equation of our relationship nor will it make me forget what you did to me. So, what's the point?"

I nod, understanding what she means. "If you don't want to know, I won't tell you. But you didn't answer my question. How do you forgive everyone even after they did wrong to you?"

"Who said I have forgiven?" She asks.

"But you are not angry and are not planning to do anything against anyone."

"I'm not like you, Vikrant. I don't fester the wounds people give me to the point that it bitters me and makes me like them. If I do that, I'll be exactly like the people I'm angry with, which will also make me angry with myself.

"You destroyed my dream of a happy married life. For whatever reason, you thought it to be ok to ruin my life as long as you got what you wanted. And you were also successful in it. But look at you now. You are not at all happy. Instead, you are burning with guilt for doing wrong in your blind pursuit of revenge.

"I don't want to live like this. First, burning in revenge and ruining others' lives, then burning in guilt and getting angry at myself for what I did. For me, this would be the worst way to live.

"So, I don't waste time planning and plotting against others. I simply focus on myself and think about how to be better every day, hoping to leave my past behind and truly be happy one day.

"But that doesn't mean I have forgiven everyone who did wrong to me. I'm not that selfless. I don't forgive and definitely don't forget," she finishes speaking, and I can see a subtle hint of anger in her eyes as she looks at me.

"You have not forgiven me then?" I ask, and she lets out a humorless laugh.

"You really are full of yourself. What you did to me is something that will be difficult to forgive even if you apologize many times. And here you are, thinking I have already forgiven you without you apologizing properly even once."

"What if I want to give our marriage a try?" I ask, surprising Nandini as well as myself.

Woah! Where did that come from?

"Are you joking with me right now?" She glares at me.

"Nandini, I—" I begin to say, but she interrupts me.

"What the hell do you think of yourself, Vikrant?" She fumes. "On our wedding night, you said you would never accept me as your wife. You told me I would always be unwanted in your life. And now, you suddenly want to give this marriage a try?" Standing from the couch, she glares at me. "Well, news flash, Mr. Sisodiya. This world doesn't revolve around you, and you will not get everything you want every time."

Saying that, she turns and storms out of the room.

Once she leaves, I sigh, leaning against the couch and closing my eyes.

Why the hell did I say I wanted to give this marriage a second chance?

When I married Nandini, my only reason was to get my revenge and divorce her after being successful in it.

But now, after realizing my mistake, I'm unsure about the divorce.

But I also don't know if I want to spend my whole life with Nandini. After what happened with Myra, I'm not even sure I want to be with someone and make myself vulnerable to that person.

I gave Myra every happiness she asked me for, yet she betrayed me.

So, the question here is, will I be able to place trust in Nandini and believe in her never to break it again?

"Why am I even thinking about this? Is it because of my guilt?" I wonder and stand up from the couch.

Walking to the window, I look out to see Nandini pacing in the garden.

Not wanting her to see me, I close the drapes and walk back to sit on the couch.

"All I need is a few days to be distracted from this guilt and come to terms with it. This is all it is—my culpability. Nothing else. I need to stop thinking about it. Once I do that, the guilt will also vanish."

Leaning forward, I keep my face in my hands and close my eyes, immediately opening them when Nandini's smiling face flashes beneath my closed eyelids.

"Why is this getting so complicated?" I sigh, unsure about what I should do next.

*****

Nandini

"The nerve of that man! How dare he say it? Just how?"

Pacing in the garden, I take deep breaths to calm my anger.

He was the one who said on our wedding night that this marriage meant nothing to me and he would never accept me as his wife.

And now, suddenly, he wants to give this marriage a chance?

Argh! I should have slapped him before walking away.

Slumping to the ground, I quickly wiped the angry tears sliding down my face.

Do I look like an object to him to push away when he wants to and pull in whenever he feels like it?

It's as if my feelings don't matter at all.

He neither asked me before getting married to me for his so-called revenge. And now, too, he didn't even bother to apologize properly or ask me about my feelings before telling me about wanting to give this sham of a marriage a try.

Even if he had apologized, I would not have forgiven him.

He ruined my one chance at happiness just for his petty revenge. And he isn't even happy after succeeding in it.

He told me two people close to him hurt him, so he married me to hurt them. This is what it is between us—a marriage for revenge.

But what the hell was my fault in everything? Why was I the one who burned in the fire of his revenge?

I shake my head and press on the temple as I start feeling the throbbing pain.

And I had thought I would relax today after a hectic week at work.

I sigh deeply, wanting to leave this mess as soon as possible.

I have signed a contract to work at Vikrant's company for six months. In these six months, I will save enough money to at least be able to move out from here and survive for a month or two until I get another job. Once I do that, I will serve him the divorce papers.

I feel a pinch in my heart as the memories of our wedding day flash in my mind.

That day, I had vowed to support him and be with him forever until death parted us.

How was I to know then that the man to whom I was pledging forever considered me not a wife but a pawn in his revenge game?

"Five months more, and I will end this meaningless marriage," I say aloud, feeling the quiet determination rise within me.