Sketchbook

Chapter 18

     The following week comes. I met my new therapist who I instantly didn't like. It was a man. A fucking man. They know I'm a rape victim and they put me alone in the same room with a man. I felt disgusted. I was uncomfortable. I was scared. He kept reassuring me that he wasn't there to harm me, but for fucks sake that's what they all say. I begged my mother to not make me take therapy anymore as long as I had to be seen by a man. It took days. It took until the day before my next appointment for Mother to call the office and tell them I wasn't going to see a therapist anymore.
I decided to do therapy on my own. Mother got me a diary so I can write down my feelings. It felt pretty pointless, but she said that I won't feel better overnight. I went through traumatic experiences that will live with me for the rest of my life. It's going to be hard to live with, but not impossible. At least that's what Mother said.
I'd been trying to talk to Charles about the trial and what he's supposed to do exactly, but he told me every time that he's not allowed to talk about it. It frustrated the hell out of me not knowing if there's anything benefiting Gabby. I got down on my knees every single night and prayed to God to help Gabby through this trial, to give her the justice she deserves, and may Brady rot in hell, Amen.

~Gabby's POV~

I've been in here a month, but it feels like a year. This prison cell is cold. The bed is cold. I don't even have a blanket, just a pillow. I swear there's a brick inside of it. Nobody around me is nice to me. They look at me like their prey. I know what I did, but I do not deserve to be in here. However.. I would take this over my old life. After everything that Brady put me through, even prison is a step up from what I used to have. I would give anything to see Jayda's face. She was the only person I had. I just hope that everything goes well in the trial. My lawyer told me that Charles was going to be speaking on my behalf. Although he was Brady's best friend, he's nothing like him. Had he known about the secrets Brady kept, I don't think their friendship would've lasted for a second longer. If only he knew...
     I cry every night in my cell. Every person around me makes fun of me. They call me a pussy, and that I should own up to what I've done because it's all my fault. They all tease me. They pull my hair. They trample me. Spit on me. I've never been to the gym because one time a girl got hit with a weight, and it split her head open. I just know the same thing would've happened to me. I try to stay strong though. I have hope that Charles will help me get out of here. I'd give anything to just hug someone right now. I'm so scared and afraid. God, help me.

~Jayda's POV~

I finished an entry in my diary. It honestly made me feel good. At least, it helps me understand my thoughts and feelings a little bit more. I can take the time to write down everything I'm feeling and process it one by one. I also write letters for Gabby, but I don't send them out because I know we're going to set her free from that hell. Then, I'll just show her everything I've been thinking about since her time in prison.
I had just finished writing a letter for her. This is the one I'm going to show her:

"Dear Gabby,
I know everything is hard for you right now, but you're gonna pull through, and we're going to be together again. You're my best friend now, I can't lose you already. You're too young to be where you are. This world took everything from you, now you deserve to get it back. When Charles speaks at the trial, he's going to tell the jury the truth, and the truth is that you would never do something so bad. You wouldn't dare take someone else's life, even if they deserved it. You're the sweetest, kindest, most innocent and caring person I've ever met in my entire life. You saved me from darkness. You pulled me from the waters when I was drowning. You were my shoulder to cry on. If you don't make it out of there, I don't know how I'm going to go on for the rest of my life. I truly don't believe that I will. You are everything to me, and I don't think I appreciated you enough before, but I sure as hell do now. I just want you to know that. Please don't give up. I'm gonna get you out of there. I promise."