Sketchbook

Chapter 2

     Mother and I were on our way back home from the doctor. The ride back was dead silent. I gave her a few glances here and there, and it seemed like her face was getting more sad each time I glanced. I knew I was about to have the toughest conversation of my life, and I was not ready for it.
     We got in the house. Mother put her purse down on the coffee table. I went to sit down in a chair across the room. My head was down the entire time as I waited for her to say something. I was on the verge of crying, but I tried my absolute hardest not to. It's always been my biggest fear for me to go through this situation.
A few minutes went by and Mother was just standing there. Until she said... "What... have you done," she said in a whisper. I didn't reply to her question. I knew if I said anything, she would start screaming, and it would be a scary sight to see when Mother gets angry. It turns out she started yelling anyway. "What have you done?!" I flinched at her sudden burst. Tears refused to stay held back and started flowing. Mother watched me cry, and when I looked up at her for a moment, she was on the verge as well. She then asked me, "When did this happen?" I knew what she was referring to, but I pretended to be confused.
"Mother, what do you me-"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about!!!"
I could barely breathe from how much I was crying. I wish there was a way out of this, but I knew I had to come clean and tell her the truth. So I took a second and calmed down. I wiped my tears, and took deep breaths, and I told her what happened. "Um.. I didn't actually go to Anna's over the break."
"And, where exactly did you go!" She crossed her arms glowering at me.
"I went to a boy's house-"
"All week!?" She was so angry at this point, I thought she was going to kill me. "Don't tell me this happened all week!" Mother has never been so disappointed in me. I started crying again, and that clearly answered her question. In that moment, for the first time in who knows how long, Mother was sobbing. She couldn't believe this just as much as me. I could see the sadness, the disappointment, the anger, and the confusion in her face. She started breaking down. She sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. She held her hands over her face and cried and cried. It only made me cry even more. "Why did you lie to me? You are a child of God, how dare you commit such a sin. You don't even read your bible, do you? You don't pray to you Heavenly Father. You don't care about this family, do you?!"
     "Of course I care about this family!" I yelled. That was the first time I ever yelled at Mother. How could she possibly think I don't care about my family, I thought. Sure, I've done stupid things in the past, and this is by far the worst stupid thing yet, but that doesn't mean I don't care about my family.
"Really, because you have a funny way of showing it." She said sarcastically.
I grew angry at Mother and stormed out of the room. I ran back to my bedroom while Mother was yelling my name. I slammed my door behind me locking it. I laid down on my bed crying out loud. I couldn't stop crying, and I couldn't breathe. About a minute goes by before my phone goes off. I got a message. It was from Charles. He asked me if I was doing okay. I had to tell him the news, and he was the only one I was going to tell. I texted back, "Charles, I'm pregnant." I didn't get a response for a while. I assumed he was in shock. It was definitely unexpected considering we used protection. I didn't understand how it was possible. I grew even more confused thinking about it. My thoughts were interrupted when Charles texted back.
"I can't be the father, right? There's no possible way!" He said.
I responded saying, "You were the only one I was with, Charles. I don't understand it either. We used protection every time, right?"
Once again, his response took some time. Then he replied. "The only time I didn't give you a pill was the first time, but when I asked you if you were on birth control you told me you were on the pill."
I was beyond confused at this point. He never asked me if I was on birth control... Then it hit me. Charles told me something when we were doing it the first time, but I didn't hear him and just nodded my head. That must've been when he asked me if I was on birth control, and I fucking nodded my head. I then knew everything. We didn't use protection the first time. We thought we were so careful, but it was the first time. Now, it's too late. I ended up getting another message from him. I quickly snapped out of it realizing I hadn't responded yet. I told him, "Charles, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you asked me that. I guess I didn't hear you say that. Now it's to late." Tears were falling as I sent that message. He replied telling me that it was okay, and we were going to get through it. I was honestly so scared that he was going to break my heart, but when he said we would get through it, I felt a lot better. I didn't feel alone.