Sketchbook

Chapter 3

     For the millionth time today, I was on the verge of crying. If there was one person I always feared, it was my father. Charles and I were sitting there looking at my phone. I was getting ready to call Father back. I was shaking a bit out of anxiety and fear, and Charles started rubbing my back before wrapping his arms around me trying to calm me down. After calming down a bit, I pressed the call button to call him back, extremely anxious of what could possibly happen. He answered almost immediately, and before I greeted him, he yelled my name through the phone, loud enough for Charles to hear.
"Jayda Joseph, why are you not in school, huh?! I've been trying to call you countless times. Where are you??!"
I didn't know what to say. Should I tell him where I am? Should I lie to him? I mean, what's the point of lying? Where should I be right now other than school to make Father understand better? Then I realized, I left school for a very legitimate reason. I can't just tell him that though, but he probably already knows. Mother could've told him the news already. I thought logically for a second before answering. "Father, I wasn't feeling well so I left," I said calmly with a lump in my throat. I knew he could hear the fear in my voice. I knew that he knew I was about to cry.
He yelled back at me but stopped when he heard me sobbing. "Jayda there is no reason for you to leave school wi-" he hesitated, "Jayda, what's wrong? Where are you, child?"
Trying to calm myself down, I try to speak again. "Father, I'm scared to tell you anything. I know you'll be angry with me."
"Jayda, what is wrong with you? Tell me!" He spoke very loudly once again.
The lump in my throat was painful. I tired so hard to speak. "Father, I... I-"
Suddenly, Charles takes the phone out of my hand. "Hello, sir," he said so calmly and serious.
There was a pause before he spoke, "Who is this?" I could hear Father over the phone fairly well.
There was another pause from Charles who was hesitant for a moment. "This is Charles, Jayda's boyfriend," he said. Some mumbling was then said through the phone that I didn't hear.
"Yes, sir." Charles suddenly said. I was anxious to know what they were saying. I couldn't hear what Father said after that, but Charles' next response made my eyes go wide. He gave him his address. He just told my Father where we were, and now he's on his way. I couldn't face him. I refused to even look at him right now. I didn't want to go through this. When Charles hung up the phone, he officially said that my father was on his way. I immediately ran off to Charles' bed room. Charles yelled my name repeatedly before following me. I had shut the door behind me and slammed my body into the mattress. I laid there with my face buried in the pillows. Not long after, I heard the bedroom door open and close again with footsteps heading my direction. Weight was pushed down on the mattress next to my legs, and a pair of arms slowly wrapping around me. I ignored him this time, and when he would try to get my attention, I would ignore him. When he begged me to look at him, I couldn't help but cry, again. I sat up, and he followed my movements. "I can't face him, Charles," I said just above a whisper.
He buried his face in my neck holding onto me. "Listen, whatever happens, I'll be right here, I promise."
We decided to stay on the bed like that until Father would arrive, which wasn't long. About 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. I immediately felt scared, and tears were filling my eyes again, but I didn't let them fall. We both got up from the bed, and while walking towards the front entrance, I held onto Charles' arm very tightly. He opened the front door, and I hid behind him a bit.
"Hello, sir," he said to Father.
"Where's my daughter?" Father instantly said in a very serious tone.
I gripped his arm even tighter at the sound of Father's voice. I was trying everything in my will to steady my breathing, for I wasn't breathing normally. I felt out of breath like I just ran a marathon. Unfortunately, no matter how scared I would've felt, this day had to come eventually.
"She's right here," Charles said before stepping back to open the door more and reveal my little anxious self.
I started playing with my hair and scratched the back of my neck, not moving my hand back to my side. Father glanced at me, noticing the fear and the tears in my eyes. He walks up to me with worry shown clearly all over his face.
     "What's happened to you? Are you alright?" He said.
     His tone triggered my tears to fall. When my tears started flowing, he pulled me into his embrace. I cried on his shoulder as he patted my back. I felt so much like a disappointment to him. "Father, I'm so sorry," I said in a shaky tone.
     "Honey, what are you sorry for?"
     "I'm so sorry for what I did, I would start over if I could, but I'm sorry, Father! Please don't hate me!"
     He let's go of me and looks at me confused. "Sweetheart, why would I hate you? What are you so sorry for?" He definitely was confused.
     I then realized that he didn't know yet. Why did he call me so much though?
     The silence and guilty look on my face made Father suspicious. "Jayda, what did you do?" His worries expression quickly vanished and was replaced with a serious look.
     I didn't look at him. I looked at Charles. Charles looked at me trying to give the hint to just tell him the truth. I knew there was no way out of this, so I took a deep breath and said it. "Father... I'm... uh.. pr-pregnant." My gaze was still low. I didn't want to look at him. It would've been too hard. For a while it was only silence, and I was wondering what he was doing. I slowly lifted my gaze, and I wish I hadn't. I looked up only to see him looking at me with tears in his eyes. His eyes never left mine. For a split second I was lost. I looked at Charles again. Charles was walking backwards in fear. I didn't know why he was until I glanced back over at Father only to see him walking towards Charles. He looked very angry.
     "You did this to my daughter, didn't you?!"
     I then realized what was about to happen, and I tried to step in and prevent anyone from flying through a wall. I ran in between and tried pushing Father back. "Father, stop it!" It didn't work. He grabbed onto Charles' shirt threatening to hurt him. I realized my attempt wasn't working and moved away still yelling at him to stop.
     Charles tried reasoning with him. "Sir, please, just listen-"
     "No, you listen to me! Do you have any idea what you've done?! Do you know what's happening right now?! You got my babygirl pregnant!!!" Father's chest was heaving up and down.
     Charles stayed calm in his current situation, as if he knew this was going to happen. "Sir, I understand you're upset, but please listen to me. What you're thinking isn't true. I'm not gonna leave her side. I will not run off. I'm ready to be a father... I mean I'm not, but I have no choice now, do I? I will be there for her through everything no matter how tough the situation is because I love her, sir. I promise what I'm saying is true. I promise." Charles looks him dead in the eyes as he speaks those words.
     Without letting go of his shirt, Father said, "Let me tell you something, son, if you hurt my little gir-"
     "I won't!" Charles said a bit louder than anticipated.
     I slowly walked up to both of them and carefully removed Father's hands from Charles. Father stepped back from him. He turns his back walking away while fixing himself. I walk up to Charles to make sure he's okay. I reach up to grab his face to see if there's any marks on him, but he removes my hands and walks away. I tried to stop him, but he kept walking.
     "Charles, wait!"
     He ignored me.
     Father came up to me and grabbed my arm. "We're leaving," he said and pulled me towards the entrance.
     I grew in shock and fear. "No! Father, please, let me just talk to him for a minute."
     "We're going!" He yelled. He slightly pushes me out the door before shutting it behind him.
     I was so pissed. I couldn't believe Father just tried to attack him like that. I was also upset that Charles was upset with me. At least I think he was. Father and Charles are definitely not going to be friends for a while, but I know that when they get to know each other, they'll finally get along. The car ride home was silent, well, for a minute it was.
"Jayda," Father said calmly.
While looking out the window, I replied, "Yea."
"How long have you... been-" He cut himself off. He was choking up as he started crying.
I answered him already knowing the question. "I found out just yesterday." Deeply, I didn't want him to finish that question. It would only make me feel more uncomfortable. He just nods his head and the rest of the ride is in complete silence.
     We return home, and I plan, as usual, to go to my room and lay in bed all day. I didn't feel well anyway. As I shut the door to my bedroom, I heard another door open, the front door. That could only mean one thing. Mother was home. I slowly open my bedroom door back up and creep my way towards the front entrance. I heard a purse and keys lay down on a table. Suddenly, father spoke. This made my stomach flip.
     "Did you know about Jayda?"
     She replied with a simple, "Yes, I did."
     "How long have you known about this?" He said a bit frustrated sounding.
     "I was with her when she found out, Christopher," she said calmly, as if she didn't care about it anymore.
     Father was a bit annoyed with his tone when he said, "Oh, and I'm just now finding all of this out?!"
     I had wished I stayed in my room the whole time. I couldn't believe the argument that took place next. Every horrible word spoken. Every disgusting feeling I felt inside of me. How heartbroken I felt.
     "I was going to tell you," Mother said.
     "When exactly did you plan on doing that?"
     "Can you please stop yelling at me?!" Mother said also sounding annoyed.
"Donna, this is a big deal! Why are you acting like it isn't?!"
"I know it's a big deal! I was very disappointed with Jayda when I found out!"
There was silence after that. I was about to walk away until Mother spoke again.
"All we can do now is pray, pray that Jayda can learn to make smart decisions from now on."
"Also pray that her and that boyfriend of hers stay together." Father said.
"I'm sure they will," Mother said.
"No, you're not sure!" Father yelled.
"Stop yelling at me!"
"Jayda is only 15 years old, she can not take care of a child. She has no clue what is takes, and if that boy isn't there by her side I'm gonna-"
"You're not gonna do anything!" Mother interrupted. "We will leave this to God. All we can do is pray. There's nothing we can change. Jayda just needs to make the right decisions. You're right, she's too young, but it's too late to do anything. Now, stop yelling."
     "She needs to understand what she's done!"
     "Christopher, shut your mouth!!"
     "She's pregnant, Donna! She's going to have a kid! She is not ready! What can she possibly do? She's supposed to be worrying about school, not kids!"
     "Do you think God doesn't have a plan for her??!" There was silence once again. "I'm gonna say this one more time," Mother said calmly, "there is nothing we can do. All we can do is support her and help her. The rest is left to God."
     "I heard you," Father said finally with a soft tone.
     "Well it doesn't seem that way, does it?"
     I couldn't listen to the conversation anymore. I was crying so much listening to what they were saying about me. I felt so much like a disappointment. I quietly ran back up to my room. I slowly shut the door and laid in my bed. I cried out loud into my pillow. Father's words hurt me so much. He was right though. I had no idea how to take care of a child. I had no clue how to change a diaper, how to make a bottle, or even hold a child properly. What about Charles though? Oh man, now I'm scared thinking about him. What if he does leave me? No! He said he wouldn't leave me. This is his child too. He definitely won't leave me... I hope.