Cold Water

The Alternative

It seems some readers may have died after last chapter... oops :p

(*~*)

Dec gave up on waiting for Stephen to come to the judges' room during their break and ended up going to look for him. He knew it was probably unnecessary but both he and Ant were always guilty of pestering the younger man, especially while they were working long days. For his own peace of mind, he just wanted to make sure Stephen had a rest.

When he made it backstage, he frowned at first, seeing Stephen stood on his own. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary for him to have to miss a break, although it hadn't happened for the entirety of these auditions, owing to his need to rest every so often. Still, having a little more time before auditions resumed, Dec swiftly retrieved a chocolate bar from their stash in the wings, circling back and heading over to the younger man.

"Stevie!" He smiled cheerfully, only to pause, getting no response. That wasn't completely abnormal either; it was something he'd got used to, particularly when he caught Stephen off-guard, distracted and thinking. He did what he always did; got close, rested a hand on the other man's shoulder, trying to get his attention in a non-verbal way.

"Hey, Stephen?" he said, smiling again when Stephen startled at the contact, looking over. He shifted just enough to dislodge Dec's hand, almost accidentally. There was a look in his eyes though, something there and gone in an instant before Dec could guess what it meant.

"S-Sorry," he mumbled, as he often did. Usually he shook it off though, instantly brightening up. Today, the hesitance continued. "Did you s-say – say – s-some-thing?"

Dec had always tried not to use the amount he hesitated to guess how he was feeling. It was impossible, but he wouldn't push if Stephen pretended to be okay. The other man always came to them eventually.

"I just came over to chat," he said easily, waiting for Stephen to deflate and being left disappointed. "You didn't get a break?"

"I did," Stephen replied before frowning.

"Oh, where were you?" Dec asked confusedly. "Did you get Ant's message?"

Stephen blinked for a moment. "J-just b-busy."

It wasn't lost on Dec that he answered neither of the two questions. He was suddenly annoyed that they were starting back up in a couple of minutes, sure he would need longer than that to get to the root of the problem. It was frustrating, given the success of the morning, of hearing Stephen say all of that to the pair of them.

"I know we don't let you near our stash normally, but I thought I'd make an exception," he teased hopefully, feeling the lopsided twitch of his mouth droop when Stephen's expression didn't clear up.

"Oh, I – I'm n-not hungry," he said, mustering a faint smile, "Th-Th-Thanks though."

Again, Dec had to swallow his immediate instinct to push. He hated to feel like he was smothering Stephen, acting as if he couldn't decide for himself when he needed to eat or take a break. However, there was something about his demeanour at the moment that set off alarm bells. His expression was pinched at the edges, discomfort trying to break out across his face.

There was an announcement over the backstage tanoy that they were about to get started with the next set of auditionees before Dec could give into the urge to nag Stephen. The younger man used it as an excuse to nod his head in the direction of his own wing, walking off without needing to say anything else. He was tired, Dec reminded himself; logically it made sense that he was trying to avoid talking when he didn't need to, to save himself for the cameras.

It didn't have to mean anything.

By the end of the day, a hectic final bunch of acts had almost chased Stephen's behaviour out of Dec's head. He'd taken advantage of the short break they got before ITV2 turned up to go to the toilet, on his way back to Ant when something caught his attention. He could see the BGMT crew gathering at the corner to their area, waiting to come in. And he could just about hear Stephen.