G R A Y C L O U D S - T A S M「2」

T W E L V E

- TO HEAR HER VOICE -

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This wasn't happening. How could it be? He worked so hard, sacrificed so much to keep her safe. Even their relationship was just barely able to survive. And this is what he gets? He got her to the hospital where she was supposed to be saved. They are supposed to help her.

He had to watch Liz get wheeled down the hall and into an operation room, being held back by a few nurses that insisted he stayed behind. But he had to make sure she was safe.

Peter waited in that uncomfortable chair for an hour. He sat there with no patience, a word you'd think wasn't in his vocabulary. He sat there and watched those doors, waiting for a doctor to come out and tell him she was going to be okay.

He couldn't speak, even when Molly came running into the hospital looking for her daughter, asking Peter what happened with tears in her eyes.

He couldn't look in Ross' direction seeing the distraught and confused look swallowing his features.

And he didn't have any idea how to comfort Leo who sat beside him, trying to keep it together. He couldn't think, any and all thoughts reserved for Liz. She had to be okay.

Peter got to his feet once those doors finally opened, but soon he realized he wished they didn't. As soon as he looked at that doctors face, he knew and his hope was shattered.

Hope really was a powerful thing, but if you let it take over with no room for reality, you're left with a despair that nothing could ever fill.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Everything was background noise. Like he was underwater, drowning. He was blank. Numb.

In the haze of darkness he found himself falling into, he could hear Molly sob and see Leo wrapping her in a hug as he cried too. This wasn't happening.

It was some type of cruel, sick joke. She's fine.

"No." Peter shook his head, too far gone to realize the tears streaming down his cheeks. "She's not...she's not dead."

"Peter—" Ross tried to approach him with his hand extended to rest on his shoulder, but Peter shoved it away.

"She can't be." Peter let out a breathy laugh, not sure what was happening. "She has that—that list...she has to get a—a tattoo. She has to get over her fear of heights so she can go—she wants to go skydiving. And she has to go to..."

He began trailing his glossy eyes everywhere, trying to rack his brain of where exactly she wanted to go most in the world. "She has to go to—to...God! I can't remember!"

"Peter." Ross tried again, a pain in his eyes that caused the smallest bit of reality to seep into Peter's unconvinced mind.

     "You don't get it! She has a list of things she has to complete before she—before she dies!" Peter shouted, running his shaky hands through his hair. "...She can't be dead!"

     Ross stepped towards him, this time able to rest a hand of comfort atop his shoulder. "Peter...She's gone."

     "Don't say that. You don't say that, she's fine. She's alive..." He tried to fight against Ross who wrapped his arms around him, struggling in his hold as his eyes shut and a sob racked in his throat.