Places| A Twilight Fan Fiction|

Chapter 13

Marley

On the floor of my father's bedroom, surrounded by his belongings, I let myself cry. It felt so unreal to me still, that he was gone; I'd relived finding him over and over again for the past weeks, and it was so eerily similar to how I'd found my mother that I wondered if I might be cursed. Being orphaned was such a damning feeling.

From the bathroom across the hall, I could hear Emmett cursing as he cleaned. I took comfort in his presence and in the dreamy humming of Rosalie scrubbing down the kitchen as I began sorting through the drawers in my dad's ancient, cracked wood dresser. That and the cot, and the tiny cubby of a closet, were all that the room had. Touching his belongings made his absence all the more real. His unfolded clothes, the holey socks and empty packs of cigarettes, the scratched off and crumpled lottery tickets that he never won anything from. I started in his top drawer and worked my way down. The methodical folding of his things, the throwing away of garbage, made me feel better. I set aside a few of his band tees, his red flannel, and the old Forks High School sweater he had kept from his glory days. The rest I could donate. Or burn. Just so I never had to look at them and see death.

Tucked in his bottom drawer, I found a small wooden box. I halted. Did I want to open it? Did I want to find something he had kept tucked away? Telling myself to stop being a coward, I hesitantly unlatched the lid, then let out the breath I had been holding in something akin to relief. Inside, there was an envelope and a few faded photographs. An old polaroid of him and my mother when they first met, both of them young and vibrant and so alive, followed by a slightly ripped photo of my dad holding me in the hospital right after I was born and another of him teaching me to ride a tricycle. He and my mother's wedding photo made me smile even as tears spilled down my cheeks. Their shining eyes and heads tipped back in laughter reminded me that they were both happy, once.

The envelope came next. I no longer feared his secrets; he had loved me, and my mother, and I would remember that no matter what else I found. His clumsy, almost illegible scrawl had written "for Marley" in Sharpie on the slightly yellowed white paper. Inside, there was an abundance of wrinkled dollar bills, a few uncashed checks, and a note that read:

For your graduation. Your mom and I are so proud of you.

The total inside the envelope came out to just over a thousand dollars. I glanced around at the decaying bedroom and wondered just how long he had been saving it for. He would have been so happy, I thought, to hand me that envelope. Like he could make up for his past by giving me something to start my future. I felt suddenly a little ashamed of the hatred I had been holding in my heart since his funeral.

"I forgive you," I whispered to no one, clutching the small box to my chest. And I found that I meant it even though my heart ached. After I had sorted through his sparse belongings, I got to work disinfecting and airing out the little room. I would have to have Em haul the furniture to the curb, or the dump, but at least everything would be clean. Years of dust and piles of empty bottles had accumulated. By the time I finished, my arms burned and my eyes were bloodshot from the chemicals, even with the window open. I hauled out three trash bags and set them on the front porch.

Rose was mopping the kitchen floor. I admired the way her body looked in her snug, casual jeans and the lines of muscle in her arms flexing as she pushed the mop back and forth. Her long blonde hair was in a tail down her back, and she turned to smile at me. The red in her eyes had dissipated; they were back to their signature, glowing topaz.

"Almost done here. I can move to the laundry room next, if you want?" Patience. Endless love. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms tight around her waist, breathing in her honeyed scent, and felt every muscle in my body relax as she gently stroked my back.