TUSETHA (Edited)

Chapter 7 ~ Fighting With Myself

We've eaten the toast, we drank sparkling cider since I can't have champagne, and we sat alone together for ages until the fire went out, just 'enjoying' each other's company. I didn't enjoy it much...I was nauseous and didn't really want him touching me. But he was my husband now so I so graciously allowed him to cuddle up beside me.

I hate this already. I hate physical contact. Especially with Haymitch. He is the bane of my existence. He was the reason behind all of this. He's so...utterly attractive in this lighting - and now his hands are roaming my body. What are you doing, Effie, don't just sit there! No, stop moaning! You're not enjoying this!

Goddamnit, his lips are so soft. Why do they have to feel so nice against mine? Oh, why do I even bother arguing with myself.

He picks me up and carries me up the stairs to his bedroom. Okay, now to panic quietly. How can he be so attractive right now? You have to stop him! You can let him go through with his!

He lays me down on the bed and slips off his jacket. "If...if you don't want this to happen...you have to let me know. I don't want to pressure you into anything that you don't want to do."

I stand up hesitantly and gently tug at his shirt. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want this..." I say quietly. Wait, did those words just come out of my mouth?

But it's Haymitch! You can't sleep with him! He's the one that got you pregnant and proposed because 'the Capitol would love it!' No! Bad idea, Effie! But...look at him, he's so rugged and handsome... Maybe you do want this.

My brain can't decide quickly enough whether or not to stop him, but I do believe it's a little too late since I'm pinned down to the bed with him peppering kisses down my neck. My breathing becomes heavier as he continues down to the collar of my dress. He stops and helps me remove my dress, leaving me vulnerable in only my undergarments.

You should stop him.

I moan softly as his hands caress my thighs. His lips making their way back to mine to silence me. I tug at his shirt again, fumbling with the buttons to get them undone as his hands roam my body.

Effie, stop him! This is wrong!

He gets irritated with his shirt and rips it off, pulling me closer to him once it's off him and laying on the floor. My manicured nails gently graze over his newly exposed skin, feeling raised tissue on his chest, back, and stomach from his Games.

Stop it!

But what happens is bliss. And as I lie with him in the hours after...I feel no regrets, the little voice in my head falling silent as Haymitch holds me in his strong arms.

I should really stop fighting with myself...

(A/N: Comment! Vote! And as always, keep on reading my little Hayffie shippers! I'd love suggestions for the next chapter!)