TUSETHA (Edited)

11 ~ Heartbroken

Haymitch and I arrive home heartbroken, only one baby held close in my arms. Annabella Leanne Abernathy-Trinket was the only one to survive. We weren't told what happened to the other baby, only that they couldn't save her in time.

I want to scream at them. I only wanted to hold my baby but they said I was too weak to handle seeing her. All I needed was to say goodbye. To make peace between us before parting ways. We don't even get to have a funeral for her. We didn't even get to name her. Though in my mind I have a name picked, I can't bear to talk with Haymitch about her right now...

"I'm too humiliated to care." I tell myself. "I'm far too tired and going through enough pain to care about my lost baby." These thoughts only make me feel worse. Too tired to care about your baby that you'll never be able to see? What kind of horrible mother am I?

"Effie...." Haymitch knocks quietly on our bedroom door.

I hold Annabella closer, closing my eyes tightly as she stirs in her sleep. "Yes, Haymitch?"

He steps inside and sits by my feet, gently placing a hand on my shin. "Effie, I'm so sorry..."

"About what?" Well what else would he be sorry about, Euphemia? Not bringing you any damned strawberries? You idiot.

"Well..." He sighs in frustration and wipes his eyes, keeping his voice low as to not wake the baby. "You know what I'm sorry about, Effie, I was there too."

"But it wasn't your fault. Absolutely none of that was your fault." I very carefully stand and lay Anna in her cot before walking with Haymitch out of the room.

He holds me upright as pain surges through my abdomen and legs. My muscles ache and weaken as I wobble down the stairs.

"Effie, I'm not saying it was my fault but I'm sorry you feel horrible because I know I feel the same. It hurts....and you're in enough pain already, I can't imagine what in the hell you're thinking...." He sits me down on the couch.

My voice becomes shaky and small. "Haymitch, stop this. Yes, I'm heartbroken. But these things happen... Everything happens for a reason, and I may not be a religious person, but I believe whatever higher power there is has a plan for us. They had a plan for our baby girl and it wasn't with us..."

"You're insane, Effie, can you hear yourself?"

"Yes, I can, thank you..." I narrow my eyes.

"Eff, our baby girl is dead and you're acting as if it didn't happen..."

"Of course I'm acting as if it didn't happen! She is a nameless face that will never be seen again, I'm going to pretend as if she didn't exist and live our life with beautiful baby Annabella! We didn't need twins, we didn't want twins. I'm probably going to rip my hair out with just one baby!"

He closes his eyes and sits in front of me on the ottoman. "You're right.... You're right....I'm sorry."

I feel warm tears slip down my cheeks. "I want her back..." Haymitch sits beside me and pulls me into a tight hug. "I miss her, Haymitch..."

"I want her back too, Princess..." He closes his eyes and kisses my shoulder softly.

Days, months, and soon years pass before I even slightly forget about my baby. But it's hard to forget them when their name runs through your head at every waking moment.

Haymitch and I....accidentally bring another baby into the world. Primrose is what Maria names her, considering she will be her new mother.

"T-Thank you, I-I can't sa-ay that en-enough." She stutters out through her tears as I hand Primrose over to her carefully.

I nod. "Of course..."

Annabella hugs my legs tightly, staring at Maria and her baby sister. "Why are you giving her away?"

I close my eyes momentarily and force a smile onto my lips. "Because Mommy and Daddy are too busy for another baby, Anna..."

"Oh..." She nods as she lets that sink in.

"Thank you for doing this, Maria." Haymitch scoops up Anna. "I know this is kind of sudden."

Maria shakes her head quickly. "N-No... It's perfect timing... Thank you."

"Take good care of her." Anna reminds her, clinging to Haymitch.

"Oh, I will." Maria smiles widely. "Thank you again."

Maria's husband, whose name was never spoken, smiles down at the baby. "Katniss will love her." He leads them to their cozy little home, my baby in their arms.

I hold Haymitch's free hand. "Goodbye, my little Primrose...."

(A/N: Comment! Vote! And as always, keep on reading my little Hayffie shippers! I'd love suggestions for the next chapter!)