" The Metanoia," 🤍 [JJK // FF°▪︎°]

part 11

1 month later

( yn POV)

" everything totally got changed in this 1 month ,I and jungkook got married and its already been 3 weeks and 2 days ... time flies , although we live under same roof but in separated rooms , he started to behave more coldly and rudely towards me i don't know why and even he barely talk to me , he usually avoid me like I don't exist but I always do compromise for my family , jihoon appa & hyuna eomma visits us often that's the only thing I'm reliefed for , my appa taehan already went back to Busan 2 weeks ago but he daily talk to me on phone calls , these days everything seems falling apart ... I'm losing myself, ... i don't know why but I'm so done with everything in my life , jungkook barely come to house .. yes this is house not home , this is house of bricks in which loneliness is all I can feel ,the silence in this house eating me up to my soul , he don't even talk to me , or I can say he's not interested knowing anything about me and I never forced him for anything , i used to prepare breakfast , lunch, dinner for both of us but he just ignore my efforts and he didn't eat anything which is prepared by me so I stopped making food for him ... I just prepare food for myself , I'm just eating to live nothing else ...

" at present its 9:45 pm and I'm just laying on couch of living room staring at ceiling thinking about my life , do I deserve all these ? Don't I deserve happiness just for once in my whole miserable life ? Am I that bad that people don't even like to talk to me even my husband ignore my existence ? Should I just end this life ? No I can't I don't have enough courage to do this , but I'm sure I'm regretting now I should not marry him knowing the fact that he don't even love me instead he hates me , jungkook always wanted to marry beautiful , pale , tall and smart girl , but I'm just pale brown stupid girl who is none of his choices , what if someday he cheats on me ? What would I do then ? I was not used to think like this before but my insecurities has ruled over my thinking already ...

" all these questions is revolving in my head ... I feel like my head is going to burst due to too much pain ....

" I flinched when i heard the door swung open , I know who is he ... yes he is jungkook today he came to this house after 2 days , I don't want to know where he was cause it will only creat new drama so I shrugged it off , I didn't felt anything instead I want to cry my heart out so I just mind my business I didn't looked at him knowing the fact that he will hurt me by his harsh words ... i don't blame him for anything because I know there is no love in this marriage ...

" but as I was staring at ceiling I heard him giggling happily with some girl , I sat up on couch and straightened myself..

" and it's none other than ms yuna and jungkook ,my heart clenched seeing both of them so happy with each other I wanted to cry so bad now but I can't , only god knows how I'm feeling now ... ms yuna and mina is the only one who knows about our marriage and for jungkook and yuna it's not marriage, its just nothing ...