Mahabharata: The New Beginning

Revelation and resolve

Something caught my eyes. Something absolutely mesmerizing, something ravishingly gorgeous, something very colourful and enticing much more than what I have seen in my whole life. The essence of nature, the beauty of Cosmos. It was indescribable, totally unexpected and something that pulled all my attention giving me incredible soothing peace and comfort that I was desperately longing for since this journey. At this instant of momentary peace and comfort after heart wrenching and brain splitting pain, disbelief and depression; I thought my life would be worth seeing this scenery even if I die the very next moment. Countless, what seemed like galaxies emitting dazzling sparkling brilliance intertwined with each other in messy complex form like interwoven web changing patterns at every moment and countless planets and stars in them engaged in something utterly different fashion in more chaotic manner but overall system seemed balanced yet so fragile that it would break the very next moment but somehow it didn't. I was totally captivating by scenery that I forgot all my pain, my state all together.
Then suddenly I was pushed from behind and came out of my trance. I heard an majestic, soothing and ethereal voice, I was startled and tried to find the source of voice but it seemed to be comming from all directions and reverberating in all directions.

Voice said: " Your state is looking very bad mortal. What plagued you to reach in this situation?"

I mumbled: " It seems that my mind is playing tricks on me. I'm hallucinating. Have my paranoia reached to that extent?"

Voice said: " O! come on human. You can do better than this. Deep down you know yourself that I'm not your illusion but someone real, someone powerful, someone above you. But your limited knowledge, mentality and your stubborness has rendered you incapable to accepting new reality, new truth The complete truth. You are engrossed in your Self, you too became slave to your fame, desire for more & more and your narrow mindedness that when you saw something that you thought in your understanding is going against your conservative ideas; you lost the meaning of your life, your desire to live started fading and your consciousness got engulfed in confusion, agony, anger, hate and grief. So much so that mere tip of iceberg of the cosmos, these tiny galaxies made you so mesmerized and gave you chance to distract your mind that you placed these lesser miracles above the greatest boon of supreme one. You prided yourself with what you have done your whole life, I was hopeful and expectant of your legends spreading in Dev Bhumi yet in matter of mere minutes Everything is washed down in gutters thanks to your hopelessness."
I dropped my head as confusion and fear took over me and I said: " I don't know who you are or what you are; I don't know what I have known is truth or lie, I don't know what was meaning or purpose of my life, my Hard work or even my faith and prayers..... but does it matter??It doesn't. Every thing is lie, I am sham, you are sham, this whole Cosmos and it's creator is...."
Voice interrupted me sternly: " Mind your tongue mortal!!! Even if your are not in your right mind, these words in front of me will cause my wrath on you which I don't want to befall on you. Clear your head human, think in rational manner. There is nothing in this world without cause and there is nothing in this world that is meaningless."
His words caused me to shudder as chilling and soothing feeling shot into my brain from bottom of my spine making me suppress negativity and embrace hopefulness and positivity. I dropped on my knees immediately and rolled to lay flat as I begged him: " O! heavenly figure, O! Omnipotent, Omniscient and omnipresent, please guide me towards truth. Please cure me from these diseases. I beg you to lift me from sea of misery and place me into the garden of happiness."
Voice said: " O! Prakhar, you are the choosen one appointed by supreme ones themselves. You will be entrusted of heavy responsibility of holy task after this journey. Return to the path of knowledge and sprituality. Not everything you know is lie and not everything others say is truth. Path of knowledge and path of faith is arduous and challenging one. On this path Every moment is battle of truth and lie, every moment is tussle of desire and sacrifice. World is filled with flith of few and misery of many not everyone can go on this path. Your uniqueness lies in your character, your ideas, your beliefs and your actions. Stand proud and be filled with hope and hunger O! Choosen one, because your way to eternal bliss goes through the bliss of others and your salvation is possible only with the salvation of others. Such is the responsibility of a Saviour so the benefit will come to you as well dear."
The supreme and holy voice reverberated in Cosmos I was present making me completely forgot the fact that I was advancing towards galaxy clusters in decent momentum as I was pushed previously. Until I came to my senses I saw myself at the tip of massive black hole as excruciating pain assaulted my senses. Due to extreme gravity I was able to have 360° vision as I saw myself shredding and torn apart by massive gravity as pain increasing to alarming rates and my body consciousness started to shut up and fainting due to kicking of internal response mechanism of my body. All these led me to being jolted awake as I saw myself in puddle of sweat and blood as it soaked the bed. I was horrified by this discovery as I rushed to bathroom to check myself. I reached to bathroom mirror and saw the clots of blood from my nose and mouth which has been dried for some time. Despite this bloody and emergency situation I found myself in absurd situation that I was neither feeling weak due to blood loss nor having any pain or discomfort of any sort or any visible or perceivable repercussions due to horrific nightmare and excess blood loss. I proceeded to took shower with warm water as relaxation took over me and I found myself sleepy despite the situation. Don't know when sleep took over me as I slept till morning on bathroom floor itself. When I woke, I was able to recall the contents of my dream and I have relief and worry at the same time. Relief that all that was dream and worry that what that dream might represent. I was aware of the fact that dreams are manifestation of ideas in our subconscious mind so I had to ponder on what my subconscious is hinting. Despite that I was worrying about both my mental And physical health. So when Sun hit the sky I made appointment at AIIMS Delhi for detailed full body checkup as well as psychological counseling. I never intended to tell anyone about anything related to my dream or what happened to me night before. I was of the opinion that whatever the hell choosen one and holy task is; If it is true and dream was way of pre information about that then it would be something interesting and adventurous to look after as how the GOD will make his moves and what role I have in that; and if those things were just my fantasy formed by my subconscious by reading those Wattpad stories then let it be. Either way I have nothing to loose and everything to gain. I was and always will be business minded person. If something can profit me I will chase it to the ends, if not then I don't care as along as it wouldn't be loss for me. Though the statement of ' returning to the path of knowledge and sprituality' is something intriguing and to be pondered upon. What type of knowledge are we talking about Laaukik knowledge or parlaaukik knowledge or both. If it is former then should I study at this age?? ..... Why not.... learning is lifelong event. So should I self study or take help from others eg. Lectures, seminars, programs etc. So from where I start?... And if it is later then should I start systematic study of ancient scriptures eg. Veda, vedaang, upnishad, Purana etc. If yes, then from whom and where I go to study that??? although I have knowledge and mastery over Sanskrit language, Sanskrit and it's grammar of ancient scriptures are bit different and different meaning of same word to able to fit in that pretext and scenario mentioned in those hymns are also different from regular Sanskrit. I have no faith in today's religious gurus and those who are at the helm of those religious institutions commanding others to follow virtue but themselves doing nothing and violating the commandants. To hell with these narrow minded and desire slaves, they themselves probably don't know the real meaning. But be hopeful, there might be some hidden master that can satisfy my hunger if that can help me reach even tip of real meaning and truth it would be good......  O! God I am being driven carzy, why all of sudden my peaceful life is turned upside down. I can't Stop these thoughts. I think best course of action would be to act upon it. I think before full body checkup, I should go for psychiatric session. Well then I should come up with some idea to mask my real dream with something similar but essentially different so that I can benefit from these sessions without leakage of information. Sprituality ....hmm... I do meditation, chanting and yogashana daily, should I try hath yoga, kundalini yoga too???
All these thoughts were churning in my mind as I was heading towards AIIMS. I got there at 10:00 Am and gave my samples for detailed body checkup as psychiatist have not come yet. As I was going through sample collection, Director and chief of AIIMS Delhi came to meet me as I informed him of my arrival. Things happened pretty smoothly as I as given special treatment. Well ..... being at high position comes with these interpersonal relationship as I am pretty good at that. At least some part of my success is attributed to these interpersonal relations. After some time I attended psychiatic session with which I didn't feel even a inch of comfort but still I continued these sessions for some time just in case. During these months I collected plethora of material and bought latest Mac book and printer to study the vast variety of subjects eg. Physics, adavanced mathematics, psychology, engineering and even modern medical sciences. I was aware of the fact that I have no photographic or eidetic memory and neither has cognitive capabilities of famous scientists but I still has good brain, high IQ and trained cognitive capabilities which helped me immensely in building my foundation as I was absorbing these knowledges like a sponge. I myself found my increased capabilities unusual eg. Better brain, faster cognition and increased physical health and energetic body. These things happened after that dream made me more suspicious. I wanted to check my mental and physical parameters and confirm my suspicion of reverse growth phenomenon of increasing parameters despite my ageing in old age but refrained due to my intuition and feeling and that I know if confirmed will put me in scrutiny of madmans and greedy people. With that I know not all my dreams were fictional but I put this thought to back of my mind as dived deeper into sea of knowledge.