Problem Solvers

The Boy: Part Five

Family is bullshit, Five told himself. The fucking rules are bullshit, communication is bullshit, and so is Mother's Day.

Don't be like that, Dolores said.

"Fuck off."

I will, Dolores said. If you address me out loud one more time.

"I'll address you however I fucking please," Five said. "Run away. See if I care."

You care so much it's painful, Dolores said. But alright. We could use another break.

Five chose not to respond.

Just promise me, Dolores said. Promise to behave yourself? Grace deserves-

"Fuck you," Five said. "Grace deserves nothing from me. Nor do you. Nobody deserves anything."

Dolores did not respond, but Five could feel her disapproval. It was a weight that tried to strangle him.

"Fuck off!"

The knocking made him flinch.

"Do you need help?" Allison said, from the other side of his bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

"No," Five said. "Go away."

"Okay," Allison said. "Know this: I love you."

"Fuck. Off."

"Five... what if my plane crashes, hmm?" Allison said. "What if this was our last conversation? Is this really how you want to say goodbye?"

"Fuck you!" Five hissed. "Emotional blackmail!"

"Fuck me," Allison said. "You're right. I'm so sorry."

The word 'sorry' had become a trigger.

Five curled in on himself, he pressed his face against his knees. He held his breath.

I will not cry, Five told himself. I must not cry.

No, Dolores said. That's Reginald's rule. Throw it out.

These were the words that broke him.

Five cried.

Allison knocked insistently. "Are you okay?"

"No," Five sniffed. "I'm... ."I'm dying?"

"Can I help you?" Allison said. "Please."

"Fuck off!"

Allison was crying too. He could hear it in her voice. "I'm so sorry! I'll never do it again!"

"No!"

"Don't hate me!"

"Go away!"

"I love you to the moon and back," Allison said. "I love you like Artemis loves Apollo!"

"I'm Niobe, god damn you!" Five said. "I'm Niobe!"

And I'm Amphion, Dolores said.

"Exactly," Five whispered, sniffling. "Schadenfreude."

Five rocked himself and took deep breaths, even while toying with the idea of suffocation.

Allison did not respond for some time.

"I don't know who Niobe is," Allison said, calmly. "Will you tell me?"

"No," Five said. "Fuck off."

"Okay," Allison said. "I still love you. Because my love is not conditional, do you understand?"

Five chose not to respond.

Eventually, Allison gave up. She left. Off to New York with Claire.

And the rotation began again.