Problem Solvers

solipsism

When Ben asked Vanya for that hug, he'd thought of it as a goodbye. Besides his brief interaction with Jill it was the only human contact he'd had in over 16 years.

And it felt so good to be touched again. Ben focused on the feeling, though he supposed it was sort of an illusion, and decided there was no need to worry about the rest.

If this was finally the end, he was at peace with it.

But then he woke up.

It was strange. He felt heavy. Solid. There something soft... a blanket against his skin. Ben sat up and found himself in a modest twin bed, in a bedroom he didn't recognize.

The sensations weren't as overwhelming as they'd been when he'd possessed Klaus, but it was still bizarre enough that he wasted a good five minutes just petting the material of the blanket, and then curling into it when an AC unit turned itself on and startled him with the blast of cold air.

Eventually, Ben took proper stock of his body and realized it was female... it looked like... but it couldn't be possible.

He rushed to the nearest mirror and was confronted once again with his sister Vanya's face. She looked panicked, on the verge of tears, and Ben wondered if she was as conscious of his presence as Klaus had been.

Klaus said it had felt disgusting and invasive and Ben frowned down at Vanya's hands. Was there a way for him to step back out? With Klaus he'd fought for the opposite and the ability to cling on had come to him as natural as breathing.

As natural as self preservation... and the longing for one more hug.

Vanya would forgive him for borrowing an hour or two, wouldn't she?

It was selfish and stupid, but Ben found her wallet and took a cab to the Academy. He didn't know who would be home- Mom would, at least, wouldn't she?- but now Ben was thinking about that moment when Diego had casually thrown his arm around his shoulder. He wanted more of that.

It had been Klaus's shoulder. There was no coming back from the dead. But the sheer amazement of being able to feel again... Ben squeezed his arms around himself and let slip a giddy giggle. The cab driver made eye contact with him through the rearview mirror and Ben felt his face heat up.

Suddenly it was way too hot and he regretted throwing a long sleeve shirt over Vanya's pajama shirt. He'd done it to avoid seeing her naked, so he was also wearing the sweatpants she'd gone to sleep in. It made for an awkward outfit.

Shit, did the cab driver think Ben was this sloppy crazy guy? Or, crazy lady? It was unnerving, having a strangers eyes on him. Even though they couldn't technically see him, Ben still felt self-conscious.

Time moved at a snail's pace, especially since he had no idea how long this possession would last. He could get thrown out at any second, so he had to make it count.

When he finally reached the Academy, he angrily resented how big the place was as he ran from room to room, looking for anyone. He called out, "Hey guys? Guys!"

Was no one home?

While he searched, Ben kept an inward eye on his body- Vanya's body- and relished the way his heart was pounding, the way it felt to move, to jog up the stairs, to grib the banister and even trip over a box someone left in the hallway. The fall hurt, but it was welcome compared to the numb reality of ghost-hood.

When Five teleported directly in front of him, Ben jumped back and almost tripped against that stupid box a second time.

Five squinted at him. "Where's the fire?"