Moonlight + Paradise (18+)

14. Room for the Gentle

Jungkook has been staring at the bed for almost 20 minutes now, and he has come to a cruel conclusion. There are two faces of the world. One is soundly wrapped in silk, right in front of him...while the other is in thorns, outside of these four walls. 

Because he's lived his whole life out there, he's been a sharp blade, moulded to a sword. Now that he's faced with a soft, gentle flower, he isn't sure what exactly he should be. A knife would simply cuts her open and ends this bitter confusion, but he couldn't find the strength to even step close to it. 

In every waking silence since he stepped onto the plane this afternoon, his mind has been nothing but a mess. It's been simmering but now it has fully dawned on him that nothing has worked to his favour when it comes to this girl. After all the worries and blaming game, it breaks his heart to realise that he'll do nothing but ruin her. And he never wanted that. 

His intention was never to make it worse for her. Despite the coldness that he presents, his heart had gotten soft from the moment he laid eyes on her - barefoot and shivering at the bus station. He managed to dismiss it as just another 'pet-project' but now that he's gotten the taste of her, he couldn't fool himself much longer. 

What should I do, doll? If I ask for your hand so soon, tying it with mine, will you accept it? If I tell you who I am, will you still look at me with those sparkly eyes...or will you run to the ends of the world? What should I do?

He doesn't get confused - not a lot in his lifetime - but this...this is truly a disconcerting situation to be dealing with. His father gave him a month to get the Blue Hope as well as his bride back, otherwise he would have to resort to his father's decision. Snatch the jewel from her possession and marry Mason Clark's daughter. He had no choice but to agree to it since it was the only option given.

But imagining himself next to another...it was fine before but now...now that I found her, how can I ever feel the same way again? This need - this...this greed. I want more than just darkness and thorns now, I want her! My hope and my...my moon. I just need her to share some lights into my world - fuck, I need it so much!

Her heavy lids open slowly and within seconds, her iris twinkled to find him standing beside the bed. A hand reaches out and clasps onto his...such soft, tender touch that slowly warms his cold skin. 

"You said you wouldn't be long..." Her voice breaks the tension. "Are you done with work now?"

He nods, still feeling confused and partly guilty that he had forced some distance between them. Lalisa pushes her upper body up and fixes herself to a sitting position, facing him. He didn't expect her to look even more alluring than the many times he had witnessed her being so, but here she is. The way her big, round eyes is gazing up to him under those soft, long lashes is already teasing his will and patience. 

"Are you still mad?"

Why is she still asking me this? "I told you, I'm not."

"You are. You haven't kissed me yet...not once."

Oh? Jungkook took a long, deep breath and sigh it out as calm as he could. He then cupped her on the cheek with a palm, caressing her softness gently. "I'm not mad at you, baby. There are just some things on my mind." 

"It's okay if you are. I'll tell you I'm sorry until you're not mad anymore. I'm quite good at it...I'll give you a hug too if you want."

It hurts him to hear it. How her past had shaped her into becoming so contrite and compliant...as if she's used to being the centre of every faults and it's her job to make everything right again. 

"You owe nothing to anyone, Lalisa." He says almost painfully and her eyes widened. "I know I'm a lot of things but...I won't let you bow down to anyone. Including me. Not for who you are."