Finding Mr. Knight (DDLB) | ✔️

25.

Tw: Descriptive violence.

Alek
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I couldn't keep my eyes off of Noah.

Not on the drive to Fox and Julian's, and definitely not when him, Chris and Fox sat on the floor playing together.

I could tell Noah was aware of my watching. I tried not to, but it was impossible to stop.

Every time the two made Noah giggle, he would subtly look over to me; his cheeks going crimson. It happened a handful of times, and every time it did, he would quiet down and fidget, trying his hardest to avoid my eyes.

It's almost like he kept forgetting I was there, then he'd remember and get so shy.

I'm just glad he seemed to relax more compared to how he was on the way here. I lost track of how many times he glared at me. He even stuck his tongue out at me a few times. When the tongue comes out, I know it's serious. Noah's attitude towards me was all well deserved though. I've hurt him too many times to count. I'm tired of making these promises that I can't keep and I'm even more tired of repeating the same things to myself.

The guys are right, maybe I am a coward. I know the way Noah feels about me. I keep giving him hope that we'll be together, then go and break his heart right barely a second later.

I tried to keep him safe by leaving, but I'm starting to realize now that whether I'm with him or not, it's going to be the same outcome.

He would be in better hands being in my care then on his own, and I should have realized that sooner.

I've been blinded by my own fear; hurting the one man I love more than life its self. This whole situation has made me feel so conflicted with what to do. I mean, it's not normal for things like this to happen, so how does one really know how to act?

I just want my boy to be safe.

"Alek, come over here. We have to talk." Julian shouted from the other room. I hadn't even realized him and Anthony left the room.

With one last look at my sweet boy, I sighed and joined Anthony and Julian.

"I spoke with my friend. He's going to do some research into your brother this evening and come tomorrow, if it's what you want, he will be dead." Julian spoke in a low voice, his face void of any emotion.

"Of course I want him dead, but are you sure this friend can do it? You don't understand just how powerful he is, Julian. You don't know the things he can do. . . The pain he can cause. . ."

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Flashback
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"Ready?" Viktor asked, leaning against the door of the bedroom.

"Another one?" The repugnance was laced heavily in my voice. We've done gun sales every day for nearly two months straight.

"Did I say you were allowed to complain? No, now get your ass up and let's go. If we are late, you will be the one dealing with the consequences."

"I have to change. I'd appreciate if you left. Don't want people thinking you've got a thing for your dear brother. Imagine if someone walked in while I was naked—"