Finding Mr. Knight (DDLB) | ✔️

23.

Noah
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I slapped my hand over my mouth, regretting every word I just said.

Why did I ask that? Why would I say something like that?! I was trying to ask what really happened in Russia, not if he killed anyone. . . How does that just magically slip from my mouth?

Oh god.

"Excuse me?" Alek looked taken aback by my question.

Instead of answering, I looked at him with wide eyes, still not able to register what the hell I just said. Even though I was frozen in fear, that didn't stop me from getting off the couch so I could.lock myself in my bedroom.

But the second I was standing, Alek caught my wrist in a tight grip, stopping me in my tracks.

"Let go! Don't hurt me!" I cried, tearing my hand from his grip.

Alek let go and put his hands up; his expression mixed with one of hurt and confusion.

"I would never lay a hand on you, Noah. Don't ever think I would hurt you." His voice raised, causing my bottom lip to quiver.

"You need to tell me right now what you know and why you know. What did you do? Who did you talk to? This is serious Noah, this isn't some game for you guys to go and play detective. This is life or death and that's why I didn't want you to know!" He yelled.

I backed away, covering my privates with my hand, quickly leaning down to grab my clothes.

"Why does it matter who I talked to?! You're scaring me with the lies and I— I think I have the right to know if you killed someone!"

"Is that what you think of me, Noah? That I'm some kind of murderer?"

"No! Well— I don't know! You were gone for two years without a word, how do I know you're not like a hitman or something? I've never met someone so secretive. If you want to be with me aren't you supposed to trust me with your everything? Aren't you supposed to love me, daddy?" I sniffled. "If you care about someone you should want to share everything with them! Even the bad and scary stuff!"

"All I want to do is share everything that happened to me with you, Noah. You don't understand the things I was put through. There is nothing I want to do more than to talk about it with you. Holding all of this in is eating me alive, but I'm doing it for your safety! I'm doing it to protect you!"

"Clearly the protecting isn't going very well when we almost got ran off the road! Talk to me, daddy. Tell me the truth! That's all I want. I want all of you, not just the kind and loving side! Even if it's scary I want to know because I love you!"

"Don't say that, Noah. You can't say things you don't mean." Alek ran his hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment. "I can't do this, malysh. I'm just going to fail you. You're going to get killed because of me and I can't do that to you. You're right, about me protecting you. . . I can't even do that right and you don't deserve it."

"Where are you going?!" I cried.

"You don't deserve anymore pain sweet boy, Trust me. I'll be doing you a favor, even if you don't see it now." He got up from the couch and started getting dressed.