Mine (FreenBecky)

C h a p t e r - 2 3

Becky's POV:

Freen's dad passed away on Monday, and it's Saturday now. It's the day of the funeral, and I can't even imagine how Freen is feeling. I've tried to be here for her as much as I can, but she's just been so distant. She's shutting me out. I just want her to talk to me, and open up to me. I'm her girlfriend and I just want to help.

Freen is already up, and I'm just barely getting out of bed. I yawn and stretch before getting up. Freen is sitting down doing her makeup.

I walk over to her and kiss her cheek. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"No thanks."

"Are you sure?" I offer again.

She nods.

"If there's anything I can do, just please let me know."

"Thanks."

I miss my warm and bubbly Freen. She doesn't deserve this. I seriously can't imagine how hard this is on her... I could never imagine finding the body of a loved one. It must have been so traumatic... I just wish I could take her pain away...

I take a shower, and after I'm done I start to get ready. I've never been to a funeral before, but I know you're suppose to wear all black. Freen is wearing a black dress, so I guess I'll do the same.

When we're both done getting ready, we head out to the car. My mom was already out there waiting for us. My mom drives, and I sit in the back with Freen and just hold her hand.

We park at the church, and go inside. I've only been in a church a few times, but it's basically like I imagined it. Freen and I sit in the front, while my mother goes off to do something. We're early, and not everyone is here yet.

I grab her hand again and kiss it. "Are
you okay?" As soon as it comes out of my mouth, I regret it. What a stupid question. Of course she isn't okay.

"Fine." She didn't even look at me.

"I love you Freen." I lean over and kiss her cheek. "It's going to be okay baby, I promise. I'm here for you no matter what."

"Yeah."

Yeah? Not even an I love you too? I can't be upset... Today isn't about me. It's about her, and I just need to be here for her. She's just in pain... I hate seeing her this way.

Yuki and Nop make their way over to us, and sit down next to me.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Nop smiles politely at her.

"I am too, I'm always here for you Freen." Yuki also smiles.

"You guys aren't sorry, you didn't even know him." She glares at them.

Her eyes just have a cold icy look.

"I know we didn't, but I know how it feels to lose someone. I'm sure he really loved you Freen, and just wants the best for you." Yuki smiles again.

Nina laughs. "Oh yeah Yuki he loved me so much! The only time he even acknowledged me was when he was high or drunk and needed a punching bag. I was good for one thing, he just loved taking his anger out on me. I'll sure miss the feeling of his fist against my face, or the feeling of him kicking me in the ribs. Good times."

Freen stands up and moves to another row, and I follow her.

"Do you need something?" She asks when I sit down next to her.

"No... Can I not sit by you?" I ask.

"Just go back and sit with your  friends Becky."

"They're your friends too Freen."

"Yeah okay."

"Freen I just want to help..."

"OH YEAH EVERYONE JUST WANT TO FIX LITTLE FREEN! POOR FREEN HER FATHER IS DEAD! I DON'T NEED YOU TO FIX ME, AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T NEED YOUR HELP SO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE." She yells, which causes people to look over at us.

I walk back over to Yuki and Nop and sit down. Yuki opens her mouth to say something.

"Don't even start." I whisper before she can even say a word.

Whenever anyone even tries to sit next to Freen, or even near Freen, she moves. My mom sits up in the front with us, and some strangers fill in the rows behind us. Freen sits in the very last row by herself.

The funeral starts, and the whole time I keep looking back at Freen. I want to go sit by her, but I don't think that's a good idea.

One of John's friends comes up to say a few words. "Well what can I say about John..." He starts. "He was a good friend, he was like a brother to me. He will be dearly missed playing poker and drinking with his buds. He was also a loving father an-"

He's cut off by the sound of laughter. All of us turn our heads to Freen laughing. "A loving father? That's the funniest thing I've heard all day!"

"As I was saying..." The man continues. "He was an amazing person and su-"

He's cut off again by Freen. "I can't stay in here and listen to all this bullshit!" She gets up, and bolts out of the door.

I get up, and follow her out. "Freen..." I start.

"Don't you fucking start Becky." She interrupts me.

"Lashing out isn't the way to handle this..."

"HANDLE WHAT?" She snaps. "HANDLE FINDING MY FATHERS DEAD BODY? HANDLE MY ONLY FAMILY MEMBER DYING? HANDLE WHAT BECKY?!"

"I can't even imagine what you're going through bu-"

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO JUST SEE HIM SLUMPED OVER ON THE TABLE COLD AND UNMOVING!"

She's by a fence, and she sits against it and puts her face in her hands. I walk over to her, and sit down by her. "I know I don't baby." I wrap my arms around her and hold her. "It'll get better." I kiss her head.

"No it wont!" She sobs.

I really can't stand to see her like this...

"It will okay?" I kiss her head again. "It will Freen."

She looks up at me, and tears are rolling down her face. "I know we didn't have the most loving relationship, but I love him and I just can't believe he's really gone. My daddy... My daddy is dead."