Better Together | ✓

34 | aftermath

Warning : Do read in private. IYKYK.

***

Ruhaani stood still. It seemed like time had frozen. She was left all alone in the silence of the night and cold of the room.

Her gaze lowered to her hand that he had been holding. The skin on her wrist reddened where the grip of his fingers was. She ran the fingertips of her other hand on it. She swallowed the lump of longing to be held again.

She looked around the room. The intense heat from her cheeks was dissipating but they were still warm. She slowly turned to the mirror.

Her gaze moved up to her face that was covered in a hue of soft pink. She bit her lower lip remembering how he had gazed at her lips. Her hands reaching up to her hair.

It was hard to see herself in the eye. She knew Aadarsh was still in love with someone else. She knew there was no chance that she could have normalcy in her marriage. Yet, she desired him.

She shouldn't have.

For her physical intimacy was what gave more meaning to emotional intimacy. Sex was supposed to be a way of loving another person, of connecting with another person, a token of loyalty and commitment.

She might have read a ton of books where protagonists indulged in sex for themselves, for relieving their stress, for pleasure, for distraction, for revenge, for anything other than something deep and meaningful.

However at the core of her belief system she still regarded physical intimacy a very scared way of engaging with another person. It was supposed to be meaningful. Not an animalistic instinct to drive oneself to pleasure. It was supposed to be something for the soul to feel complete, not body.

Those few minutes with Aadarsh seemed to have caused a quake in her beliefs.

She wanted him. She desired him. She was soaked in lust. She had given herself to him in that moment even if it was for something meaningless.

She had never know this emotion before. This mad urge to touch him, feel him, give her body to him and be at his mercy.

She took a deep audible breath. Her body still begged for him. A wave of guilt washed her. Followed by another of shame.

Where was her self-respect? She shouldn't have been pinning for something so hollow. Yet all she could think of was how his touch ignited a spark in her very core. How his one intent look had the power to stir a storm inside her.

Attraction was unavoidable. Especially for them. Their situation, their relationship, staying under one roof, sleeping on the same bed, all of that did do a number on the brain.

She could manage attraction. She could reason with her mind. Keep it all under control.

But what she supposed to do with this infatuation? It was stronger than a mere attraction. Her mind refused to listen to reason. It was falling into depravity. Her body wanted what her conscience knew was not right.

With slow steps she made her way into he walk-in-wardrobe. She stood before the mirror undressing herself. Her mind reminding her how his eyes had caught her right there in the same state earlier in the evening.

She let the saree drop to the floor. Her underskirt followed next. Her hands proceeded to undo the hooks of her blouse. Soon she stood in front of the mirror stripped off every piece of clothing, every bit of shame, every bit of diffidence.

She wanted him.

She slowly made her way to the bathroom, to the shower cubicle.

I am sorry for ignoring you.