Seasons (Ari AU)

Chapter 9

Is it asking too much to never remember that night again, to wish it all away?

Who do I need to beg and plead with for it to all be a nightmare and get assurance that Jeremy will walk through our home again in just a couple of weeks when his uncle is healthy again?

"It was a beautiful service," I hear spouted off to my face for the hundredth time as I stand in the doorway of our home, accepting condolences one after another.

What was so beautiful about it, I want to ask. I want to call them out on the nonsense they're spouting from their mouth, ask them if their brain is even connected to their tongue at all.

Instead, I grin and bear it, giving thanks for their attendance. Among the midst of our tiny family is mostly friends that he attended high school with, gone through the academy with and of course worked alongside at the station. 

If I didn't have Ari next to me, I wouldn't know half of them since so many are coming in from stations within a thirty mile radius. Which is why I panic when he steps away, Shauna coming to take his place.

"I'm surprised we're off at the same time," I tell my friend in a soft, tired tone.

Shauna wraps one arm around my waist, tucking me into her side. "They didn't have a choice," she whispers into my ear. "I threatened to quit."

My heart drops as my eyes grow wide, "No, you did not!" She smirks and quirks her brow. "Shauna, you can't do that!"

"They were not about to call my bluff, Holland. Don't worry about it."  She cuts her eyes across the room, making me follow her gaze to where Felicity stands talking to someone from one of the stations that she remembers from years ago. 

  "How are you dealing with that?" I ask, wanting to talk about anything other than the sorrow that is surrounding me.

  "Who says I'm dealing with it?" she smirks, pulling away from me as another gentleman comes up to shake my hand. I start teetering on my feet, wishing I'd chosen flats rather than Jeremy's favorite pair of my heels. I'd been wearing the glittery red heels the night we met. He loved them so much he requested I wear them for our wedding as well. "It makes sense, it's a Valentine's Day wedding," he told me when I turned my nose up at the idea.

But then I remembered I'd do anything for the man that made my heart ache the way he did. I'd walk through fire for him, even now to have just another moment with him.

I feel someone place their hand on my back, between my shoulder blades. I can't quite turn around as the man is trying to tell me something about having been Jeremy's lacrosse coach at some point in high school, but the touch is soft, not harsh or heavy. It stays put until the coach walks away, giving me a moment of reprieve as whoever owns the hand that's still resting against me comes around to face me.

Tender blue eyes filled with concern look down at me, the smallest of smiles on his lips as he holds out a bottle of water to me. "Thanks," I sigh, noting he's already broken the seal for me.

"Step back," he tells me, causing my brow to raise in question. He chuckles, urging me once more. With a small step back, my knees find a chair. "Sit," he instructs me.

"Where would I be today without you, Levy."

Flashback

The officer's words replay in my mind, over and over. So simple, and yet so complex, "There's been an accident with your husband, Jeremy Gable."

I hadn't even heard any of the details of said accident and yet my legs give out and I'm slipping down to the floor. It seems to be an eternity before I hit, because it never comes. Instead I'm suddenly being held up by two strong arms, leaning my back into a sturdy chest.