Seasons (Ari AU)

Chapter 38

Holland POV

  Remember those moments in rom-coms when it looks as though a sea of people just part and there's only one person you can see from across the room? Their eyes find yours and before you know it gravity is just forcing the two of you together?

  I hadn't experienced that before. I always thought how oddly strange it would feel if something like that actually happened in real life, an all eyes on you moment but yet the world around you fades away. Becoming the main character of a story, if only for a moment. That was never on my radar outside of my wedding day, and even then, other than my red, glittery heels, Jeremy was the center of attention making jokes and dancing with his fellow firefighter brothers. 

  But then, Ari.

  I wasn't angry with him. Even with the way he insisted I be here tonight, I couldn't find it in me to be upset. I'd poured my heart out to his sister, she's kept it quiet as far as I know, and all I wanted was to be on friendly enough terms for my daughter to have her Uncle Ari a part of our lives, even if it meant an acceptance of Aunt Lissy in the process. 

  Three steps through the doors of the ballroom, music flowing softly, people milling about and talking, I have that moment. It's nothing like the movies, though. The crowd didn't necessarily part, and when I found him, his eyes were already on me. 

  Damn, that man makes some women swoon just in his uniform. But, in a tux, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in a complete puddle. The man cleans up well.

  He kissed my knuckles, as though that was something normal, mumbling something but then waving it off as something else entirely before guiding us to the table. 

  I cringe when Felicity calls my Holly, but decide against asking her not to call me that, hopeful that if it happens again Ari will be the one to politely tell her that I'd rather her not use it. 

  The small sense of comfort I've had since he placed my hand on his arm and walked me through the room, gone once Felicity insists I sit next to her, separating me from Ari. "Isn't this incredible?" she asks when Ari steps away back towards the bar. Apparently my appearance interrupted the mission he'd been sent on earlier. No complaints from me.

  "It really is," I smile warmly, praying that the awkward feeling coursing through me is not visible to the outside world, although if Ari were still here he'd take note rather easily. Or, at least he use to. With less time being spent together, I'm wondering if he could read me as easily anymore. 

  "Your husband's name was Jeremy, right?" I give a nod while my fingers find the napkin sitting in the middle of the China plates in front of me. "I'm so sorry to hear what happened. I remember he and Ari being thick as thieves for as long as I can remember. He was a great guy."

  My eyes find my lap, still giving a little nod in agreeance although my heart is yelling at my brain to knock that crap off and let my feelings fly. No, that wouldn't be the best idea in the world, no matter how wonderful it might make me feel to help these men and women understand who my husband actually was. And then I remind myself that even I am unsure as to whether or not I could answer that question myself. 

  "Your dress is really beautiful," she tells me, her hand coming to push my hair off of my shoulder closest to her. "Such a pretty blue, reminds me of Mason's eyes."

  It dawns on me that Felicity really is just trying to be friendly. Why can't I react the way I did the first time we met, or when Ari brought her to the house for the barbeque? Oh, that's right. That was before I had an incredibly short make out session with him fueled by anger.

  "He does have some pretty blues," I add, realizing I owe her a compliment now. "I think red really is your color. Ari always did refer to you as the All American girl."