After All This Time// Sebastian Sallow x Reader Hogwarts Legacy Fanfiction

Chapter 83

I forgot how dense boys can be sometimes. 

There's Leander, who of course, just never takes the hint that someone isn't interested. Then you have Sebastian, who I guess can't tell the opposite. 

I guess I kind of wanted him to ask me to the ball. I wouldn't really have any desire to go, unless it was with him. Even though we're not technically together, I can see that he's still super defensive over me and the possibility of ending up with other people. Of course, I would never in a million years date Leander fucking Prewett. Sebastian didn't seem to think so, though. I'll admit that I liked that I could tell he was still feeling some way about me, but I really didn't like the public spectacle he put on in the library. 

I wasn't really too busy to talk to Sebastian, I just wasn't in the mood to after what happened. All I had to do was homework, and that was often something him and I, and even Ominis would do together. But I just wanted some space right now from him. 

It was weird- these things wouldn't happen if everything was back to normal; him and I usually got along pretty well, except for the few times we didn't. I guess what's past is passed, and there's no going back. We're going to have to salvage the parts of our friendship we can, and rebuild the parts of it that were lost forever. 

To be quite honest, I'm very upset about all of the memories between the two of us that will be forgotten. We spent so much time together. There were so many little things that were considered trivial before that now seemed so important and filled me with melancholy to think about. 

I made my way down to my room, and sat on my bed to finish working on my homework. Imelda was passing through as I entered, heading off to quidditch practice. She gave me a brief greeting and nod, giving me no impressions that she knew I was gone last night, which filled me with a bit of relief. 

I worked without interruptions for a good couple of hours before I heard a knock on the door. I sighed and got up; there was only a small list of people it could be, but I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I cracked open the door to reveal a very nervous looking Sebastian. 

"Hi," he said, scratching the back of his head. "Are you sure you're not mad at me? I'm sorry I got like that earlier."  

I sighed and opened the door the rest of the way. "It's fine," I said. "But it was just Leander being Leander. There was no need for any of that."

"Still, I'd prefer it if he didn't act like that around you at all," he said. 

I wasn't sure how to respond. Was he jealous? Is that what this was? 

"Can I come in?" he asked me. 

"Um, yeah, sure," I said, stepping aside to let him through. 

He followed me over to my bed, where all of my work was sprawled out over the top of the comforter. I cleared some of it away and took a seat, and he did the same. I don't know why, but I felt a bit awkward with his presence in my dorm room. Before, this wouldn't have been weird at all, but now, I was never really quite sure how to act around him. 

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I stopped by," Sebastian admitted. "I just wanted to spend time with you today."

I looked over to him, and he had his eyes trained on mine. I always loved his eyes; I could always get lost in them. Now, it felt odd to stare into his eyes, and it made me nervous. I looked down at my lap and fidgeted with my hands. I wished things were still the same, but I needed to get over the fact that it wasn't. How was I supposed to do that though, when those memories were some of my very favorite and best? 

"Are you going to say anything?" he asked me. "Do I make you nervous?" he chuckled, and put a finger under my chin, lifting my eyes back to his. 

"N-no," I responded, trying to keep my voice steady, though it wasn't working very well. 

"Really?" he said, moving his face closer to mine. Sebastian brought his lips close enough to my ear that I felt his breath on my neck. "You're not nervous at all right now, hm?"

"Well when you act like that..." 

He suddenly placed a small kiss on my neck right below my ear. "Act like what?"

I let out a breathy sigh and instinctively leaned closer to him. His lips grazed my skin again, and I turned my face towards his, and our noses brushed. "Sebastian..."

"What?" he breathed. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" 

"No, I just..." I trailed off. I wasn't sure how to word how I was feeling. 

I wanted him close. I really did. But it just felt all too odd for me. I had him, and I lost him, and for some reason, he seems to still want me even after learning everything that I did. I just didn't feel like I deserved him at all. And then there was our past in general; I just couldn't get over it. I was thinking about it all the time, and it was making it extremely hard to attempt at a restart with Sebastian. 

"It must be weird for you, isn't it?" he asked me, pulling away. 

"A little," I admit. "It's not because of you, though, it's me."

Sebastian folded his hands together and looked down at them, a sad look on his face. "So what can I do, then? What can I do to make this- whatever this is- work?"

His words were like stones in my heart. I obviously wanted this to work. I needed him, that much I knew, but I just couldn't get the stupid thoughts out of my head. Nothing seemed to make sense around him anymore, and I didn't want him to suffer any more because of me. 

"I'm not sure," I told him. "I know that I want you, I- I just don't know."

"Then how about this," he started. "I'll stop being so forward, give you time to think about this and everything else, but you agree to let me take you to the dance."

He smiled and raised an eyebrow, waiting for my answer. I smiled to myself, glad that he decided to ask. 

"I guess I'll go, since I get to go with you," I teased. A huge smile spread on his face at my reply.