Promise; Lee Su-hyeok

022. Bite Me

4225 words

[MAJOR TW: Suicide/suicide attempt and harmful thoughts for whole chapter.]

My updates have been kinda slow lately so I tried to make a slightly longer chapter for the lack of updates <3 Su-hyeok and Y/n needed better interactions, and this whole chapter is just that :)

I can't sleep.

I already tried, but I just can't.

And I know I'm not supposed because, according to On-jo, I have a concussion and all, but I'm so tired.

My insomnia is already bad enough as it is. Pfft, forget trying to even sleep in the middle off the apocalypse.

I even got so bored that I forced Dae-su to throw out his shit so the room would stop smelling. I deserve a trophy for that one.

I sigh, standing up slowly and tiptoe to the window as to not wake anyone up. Quietly, I sit on the window and swing my legs over so my back is now facing the classroom. I scoot until I run out of anymore windowsill to scoot over to.

I make sure no one is still awake and pull a lighter out of my pocket, the pack of cigarettes already in my hand.

Gyeong-su would be really pissed if he found I didn't quit smoking like I promised to.

But he's dead, so.

I take one out of the pack and put it in my mouth. I cup one hand over the tip of the cigarette and my other hand instinctively presses down on the lighter's spark wheel.

I hum. Right, different lighter. I stole this one from Nam-ra.

After figuring out how to work the portable fire machine, I shove it in my pocket along with the box. A yummy little snack for later.

No one is stopping me from jumping right now.

How funny.

I throw my head back against the unbroken window.

I wonder what could've been done differently. What could I have done to prevent all this?

I feel my fingertips buzz. Probably from the cold I assume.

I look down at the ground. The green, annoyingly vibrant grass. It has so much life. It doesn't have to worry about any of this.

I wish I could be a plant. I wouldn't have to be worried about this or about living on a floating rock filled with cruel and shallow beings.

Plus, I can get decapitated and still be alive.

I kick my feet in the air, the movement accidentally making me drop the cigarette from my between my teeth.

I watch it roll off my leg and fall onto the grass. It burns bright orange before completely going out.

I close my eyes, "Fuck." I reach into my pocket again. I didn't want to waste anymore, but here I am.

Actually, maybe I shouldn't. Wow, look at me, tryna be reasonable. Such a rare sight.

I look up at the sky. The moon is so beautiful and so bright. Neil Armstrong is so cool, he got to go to the moon.

I wanna go to the moon.

Too bad I can't though, since we're gonna die.

If I jumped right now, would I go to heaven or hell? Probably the latter. Probably. But I could probably still visit the moon then.

If I can't then I'll sue hell or something.

Speaking of sue.

What happened to Jin-su? Is he still alive? The last time I saw him, he was in an ambulance. I could've stopped them from fighting, but I didn't.