famous match up ➴ bws

11

| eleven ; moved on |

h a n n a h

guilt \ˈgilt\
noun
: a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong

Guilt. Yes, that's exactly how I feel right now, and for the past two months actually. Two months, it's been that long already huh? I'm actually surprised that I survived without him. Usually, people would forget already but clearly, I haven't.

I haven't spoke with any of the boys. On the first week, the three left countless of calls and messages but they eventually gave up. How am I right now? To the public eye, I look okay, thanks to the makeup but originally I have black circles under my eyes and I lost a lot of weight.

The usual bubbly me was gone. In my university, no one has even noticed. I acted all happy with Gale, Julien, and Ange. They're my friends, I know but I didn't want them to pity me. I also didn't tell Izzy because I know how she would react. She's apologize nonstop. I stopped talking to Nathan and I stopped walking with him to school. I just wanted no part of him at all. I know that he didn't do anything wrong, but that day he decided to make a move, my life started to get messy. Dylan, he doesn't know. I didn't want to bother him with any of my problems. He's a busy guy and he's stressed with his career so it's better not to get him involved.

No, I didn't keep my feelings bottled up. I ranted about it with Pia. She's the only person who wouldn't feel any sympathy for me. Well, maybe she did, a little, but she wouldn't tell me how sorry I was. She'd give me some of her genius advice which is exactly why I survived.

My phone beeped, meaning I had a text.

From: James
See you x

What the hell did he mean 'see you'?

Before I could even think of the things he meant by 'see you', my phone rang. I checked the caller ID and it was my manager.

"Hello?" I managed to say quietly, though it came out like a question.

"Hannah, can you go to Starbucks? Like, right now?" She said, rushing.

"Why?"

"Remember when I said that you will be working with The Vamps soon? Well, that soon is now! Isn't that great?" As she asked excitedly, I felt my face getting paler and a frown formed on my lips. So this was what he meant by 'see you'.

"Hello?" I snapped back to reality and realized what was going to happen.

"Uhh, yeah. Be there in 20." I said and ended the call.

I sighed. Looks like I'll have to face the guys, no problem except for the fact that Brad will be there. Brad, as in my ex-best friend who I do not wanna see, especially right now. I literally look like a white lady from a horror movie although I have blonde hair.

I dragged myself to my wardrobe and picked out a simple outfit. I took a bath awhile ago so there's no problem with how I smell. I covered up the black circles under my eyes so it wouldn't be obvious that I didn't get much sleep. Grabbing my phone and wallet, I went out of the house and headed to Starbucks.

Saying I'm nervous right now is actually an understatment. I felt like I wanted to die right this moment. I just need to clear my mind. I should just think of this as business.

The moment I've been dreading is finally here. I'm outside Starbucks and I could see already see Joe, the boys' manager, from a far.

I held the silver door handle with my sweaty right hand, and pulled it open. Wrong decision, I thought to myself. There weren't any of my fans in the coffee shop, which was good since I needed a break from people following me around. I walked over to the counter and ordered a Chocolate Chip Cream Frappe. I waited for my frappe near the counter. I wasn't ready to face them. To face him. They didn't seem to notice my presence yet which was good, but it won't last long.