Breaking Point

Adele.

Adeline Ann Gambit.

The woman who had I had stumbled upon was really just a young girl with a broken past.

Her Father, Papa as their family called him, left shortly after Adele was born.
Her Mother- had been having an affair and he couldn'tlive with her anymore.
Years later, records showed that their affair had led to a baby being born. Grace. Apparently her Mother had said that their Papa had come back around and knocked her up; paid her for it too.

Was that true? I hated to think that. Did Adele know any of this? I doubted it, and decided not to share.

She also had two other siblings. An older brother Joseph, and a sister in between, Susan.
The brother had died soon after enlisting and the sister had just married William Turing.

Turing. It's been years since I'd heard the name. We had attended school together. Memories. Everything was different now. Everything was different and I hated it. Oh how I wish I could go back to before! She wouldn't have died if they didn't starve her.
They promised us food.
They promised us medical aid.
They promised us homes.
They promised us hope.
They left us with shelters full of lies. Damn lies. I hated it. I hated them. I hated them and I worked with them. For them. I hated myself. I'm sick of this life.

I looked to my right forearm, black ink scrawled the words;
Alive love is common essence.

It sounded so poetic when I first thought it up. Now that's she's gone, it's so dull.

I think I'll think about her some more, though I know I shouldn't. I closed my eyes and began to imagine her.

Adeline. Such a sweet name, meaning noble. I know she is pure at heart, even if she comes from such a family. I can tell, my intuition has never been wrong. She likes to go by Adele, but Adeline is more beautiful to me.

She has a small curvy cute nose and rich hazel eyes that beam when she's talking, even though she keeps her composure. She is good at that. But I can see her emotions seeping from her eyes. Her eyes hold stories of before, the memories of her family, and all the hurt she's endured. I can see if. I can sense it. But she does a good job of hiding it. She tries to be strong, something she is inherently not. I can tell that too.

She lacks authentic confidence, does she know, or has she fooled herself? She almost had me fooled on that one. But I can tell, I'm not sure why though. Adeline reminds me of her.

No.

I can't let my mind go there. I don't want my mind to see her when I see Adeline. I need to forget. Move on. Press forward.

I shake my head and lay back down on my cot. Today was interesting. I must thank Josiah tomorrow for sending Mr. Alexander such a fine young woman, and I must ask him how he acquired her.

She had a fine figure too. Slender curves on a petite, yet taller frame. Five feet, six inches. Hmmm, I'm almost whole foot taller than her!

Her skills as a typist were impeccable and she seemed to have a decent memory.

Although she seemed extraordinary, she held herself together so much so, I couldn't read to where she placed her allegiance. It baffled me. I've never met such a woman! But I didn't need that distraction in my life. I must tell Josiah.

I pulled out my little booklet of my thoughts and began to write.

June 15th
I'm used to the sway of the boat now. It took me a while. Remember when I wrote about the many times I would vomit when I first came aboard? It's been just four years now. Wow. Time has gone by so quickly.
The rhythm of the ocean is gentle once you get to know it, it's not so strong as it looks. Yes, it can over power you, but only if you don't know it. I know it more now. I am safe. I feel much like the sea. If someone were to know me, like you, then you'd realize how much I don't want to harm you. I simply am what I am. Strength. Power. If you underestimate me I will take over you; if you know me, that is my weakness. You'll see a little boy with a heart that's torn, a man who's intentions are pure but is lost; I'm a sailor who's lost at sea, knows how to get home, but doesn't remember where home is anymore.