Breaking Point

Memories.

Wow.
Has it been so long?
Nearly four years.
I can't remember what life was like before they took over; before they started to change things; before a cloud of gray swept over the land.

Yes.
Within four short, quick, by-gone years they took over.
Everything.
Our schools.
Our government.
Our homes.
Eventually, they took over our whole lives, short as they may be.

Silence.
I close my eyes and try to focus, to remember what I can not hear anymore.
A bird singing.
A child laughing.
A virgin's soft voice in a choir.
All distant memories, forgotten in the storm that took us all by surprise.

Remember colors in your clothes making you stand out at a Friday night party? That party your mom said you couldn't attend but you snuck out anyways...

Remember watching the tele before going to sleep? Your favorite characters coming to life right in front of your eyes...

Remember taking a walk through the park on a warm summer day? Right before the rain, you could almost smell it...

Remember running through the woods playing hide and sneak with your friends? Just because it was something you wanted to do- not needed to do...

Yes.
That was the calm. The life you see when you look out your window now, those are my memories.

Black.
I close my eyes and see black.
I squeeze them shit and try to remember.
Birds chirping.
Children laughing.
Women singing.

What has my world become?

No.
This is the Storm- The Enlightenment.
They said we'd be okay.
We'd be better.
We'd grow stronger.
We'd be united.
All things they said.
They. Said.
They. Lied.

Remember that party you snuck out to? Your mom never caught you, but try and sneak to get something you need, The Enlightenment will.

Remember watching the tele to fall asleep? Not anymore, all they show is propaganda telling us what The Enlightenment is doing- how they are helping the greater good.

Remember that walk in the park? Not so easy anymore with all our curfews and deadzones- and forget about the smell right before it rains; when was the last time it even did!

Remember those games of tag when you were younger? They're not games anymore.

Well, good thing you don't have to remember those things. You can look out your window and see it all. All I have are memories.
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All I wanted was a Mother's touch and a Father's guiding hand. What I got was a Step Mom who only wanted a girl and Father who only wanted his liquor.

Why did my life have to be so screwed?

There had to be a million other people out there, just like me, but I'm still a selfish monster.
I feel trapped in my own mind.
No outlet.
No way out.
No chance to escape.

I'm supposed to lead a way of life and here I am crying myself to sleep almost every night, hoping things could've been different.

My Father once told me that I can't change the life I was given, only accept it and move forward. Then why the hell am I still stuck in the past? Maybe it's because I never trusted my Father. He never trusted me.

He never cared for me; only provided.
Those are two very different things. You may not think so, but they are.

My Father only ever impressed on me two things in life;

Move forward and don't look back.
Power is eternity; resistance compells everything.

Two profound things. Two statements that make me question who I am and where I came frome. Two choices to make: ignore my Father and discover who I really am or accept who he says I am and move forward.