Grian angst

Harsh

(This art is a dumb doodle done in less than a minute, lol)

Hello, my dear readers. I'm so sorry I don't post updates much! I focus more on art than writing, so yeahhh! I've been quite busy with art.

Grian Pov for most of it
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I'm a little rude sometimes..

I make mistakes. Although I'm part bird.. I'm still part human.

Everyone makes mistakes. So why do mine feel so big? Why do I always mess things up?perhaps the world would have been better without me.. if only I hadn't been born
Into this horrible world in the first place.

I can't.. I can't kill myself.. I love life. At least I try my best to love it.. I just don't really like pain, so ugh. What am I even talking about? I conflict with pain in myself and others, so how could I hate it? I just… I guess I don't want to.. this is such a cruel world.

I look up at the mess I've created moments before. more of people's hard work down the drain because of me. I was just exploring around and seeing what people have built and made, and I.. I just had to touch things. I accidentally blew up somebody's build. I don't think it was a main base or anything, but it had a ton of stuff in it. and the worst part is I don't even know who it is! it's in the middle of nowhere and I.. I'm all alone with this..

you might be wondering, how do you accidentally blow up somebody's build? well, there was a button , and you know me and buttons! I just have to press them!

I didn't see any redstone or anything, and blowing up was my last thought - is it really my fault this has happened??? of course it is. It's always my fault.

I hate myself.

If I could be anybody else, I'd take the chance. I hate myself so much that I wish to never meet someone like me. if I did, I'd pity them so much, for who could like someone like me? someone that messes things up and ruins everything.

I have loving amazing friends, yet I'm still like this! I'm sure there's people who feel the way I do, but.. I don't care. knowing that there's others won't help me. Do I want help? I think I want help, but.. I can't.. I can't face it. it's all too much.

oh. wait, I'll probably be lectured on this. for touching random buttons and ruining everything. I don't want that.. I'm too tired for that right now. Actually, I'm too tired for everything.. I wish I could sleep forever sometimes.. just to escape it all.

Grian looks to the edge of the platform he is on. the little that's left of the once tall and quite wide building. it's higher than he remembers. High enough that if he falls.. he might just not wake up again.

what if he fell during the explosion and just happened to.. I don't know.. die?

What if he just couldn't flap his wings intime before he hit the ground, realizing too late what's going on.. he walks closer to it, dazed by the possibility. What if.. he made it seem a reality? He steps so close, then another step, then one onto the air. He starts to fall effortlessly down..

Hmm, I wonder what my friends will think of this? Will they be sad? if they are, it will only be for a little while. sadness only lasts so long.. oh. wait.

I don't want to die.

this feeling will go away. I want to see my friends again. wait no. I want to feel happy and alive, but if I'm dead.. I won't feel a thing. Maybe there is a chance it can be okay? I won't ruin everything? if I don't try, I'll never know, so I got to fly back up I-

Before he realized he wanted to live, it was too late. He couldn't flap his wings in intime before hitting the hard, cold, ground.

He did kinda.. turn half his story into reality then. even if it's not the reality he really wanted. good thing it wasn't reality.

He jumped awake from his bed. sweat rolling down his face, his eyes wide open. It's as if he's seen a ghost, but in this case, he feels like one. It was all a dream.

They say dreams are warnings and desires are deadly. He was lucky this time. His desires were only expressed in dreams. Yet next time, maybe he won't be so lucky.

It's better to go take some chances before it's too late to even think about it.. Because the world is harsh. barely anyone gets second chances, and the ones who don't only realize when it's too late to flap their wings of life.

Think before acting, and don't hope for it to be all a dream.

some don't have these warnings.

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864 words

Hehe

Also, if you're curious about my art. My Instagram is @yourcatten ! But I don't really post art around the hermitcraft server, so yeah, lol.