A&E Memories

This is all your fault

Chapter Summary:

Sah, Jan, Teddy and Ian have just finished their shift at the hospital when they receive the news about Robyn. They are all devastated and Sah give's Jacob an earful.

Sah's POV:

I thought this shift would never end I couldn't wait to get home and sleep, I checked my phone and there was still no news about Robyn I couldn't get the image of her at the crash site out of my head. I shoved my uniform back into my locker and walked out into the staff room as I did so someone caught my eye in the ambulance station I looked through the window and saw Dylan walking in, I saw Jan, Teddy and Ian all heading over to them so I joined them.

Jan was the first to break the unbearable silence that filled the station 'Is there any news about Robyn how is she' Dylan looked at as all and as I looked at him closer I could tell he'd been crying I calmly said 'Dylan has something happened', I saw him take a deep breath before he said 'I'm afraid Robyn passed away due to complications during the surgery, there was a massive bleed and we couldn't save her'. I looked around and Ian, Jan and Teddy were all crying as was I, I didn't know Robyn that well but she was a good friend to me and thought that maybe if we'd been allowed to unload the ambulance's sooner then we could have gotten to her in time and maybe she would have survived.

I looked down at the floor watching my tears fall and stain the concrete floor like rain drops, I felt a mixture of grief and anger inside of me as I said 'We could have gotten there sooner this is all Jacob's fault' I left the ambulance station and made my way round to Emergency department. Jacob was stood in the staff room I walked in and shut the door he looked at me and said 'Your going to have a go at me as-well' I took a deep breath and replied 'Your damn right I am, Robyn's dead and it's all your fault. Jan told you that there was an RTC and an ambulance was needed and you said no'.

Jacob shouted 'Look I'm trying to do my best Sah it's not been an easy day, but if you've got the answer then please tell me' I stepped back when Jacob raised his voice at me and I calmly replied 'I'm not saying I have the answers Jacob but you've got to look around you, your staff are coming in exhausted and broken and it's not doing them any good. They won't stand for it any longer and soon you'll find yourself without any staff to run the department'.

Jan walked in just as Jacob was about to say something she stood beside me and said 'I'm not going to shout at you but just know this is all your fault. Sah come with me I'll give you a lift home'. Once outside in the car park I looked at Jan and said 'I'm sorry I know that was really unprofessional of me but I just felt so angry, like I used to be'. 

Jan's POV:

Sah was right they shouldn't have lost their temper at Jacob but sometimes emotions get so full that you have to let them out, I looked at Sah and said 'I'm not angry with you for loosing your temper, sometimes it's necessary' after dropping Sah back at their dad's flat I headed home to my partner, as I walked in I heard calming music playing Ffion came out of the kitchen and said 'You look exhausted Jan, what's happened'. I walked into the lounge and sat down on sofa she sat down beside me and I softly said 'Robyn died in surgery this evening following an RTC.

Sah's POV:

Once Jan had dropped me off at my dad's flat I popped into the corner shop to get something for my dinner before heading into the building and getting the lift up to the 4th floor, I walked into the flat and found my dad and mum sat on the sofa watching a film. My mum looked up and said 'Hey we were getting worried' I walked into the living room and sat down on sofa my dad paused the movie and said 'Sah is everything okay has something happened today'.

I sat forwards and put my head in my hands hiding the tears that were slowly falling down my cheeks as I said 'A friend at work was involved in a RTC today, she died in surgery. She could have lived if myself and Teddy had gotten there sooner but we weren't allowed to unload our previous patient for hours', my dad came and sat beside me and pulled me into a hug as he said 'Oh Sah I'm so sorry, if you did everything you could then you mustn't beat yourself up it won't help', I went to have a shower whilst my mum put my dinner in the oven but when I came out of the shower I was exhausted both emotionally and physically and so I went and got straight into bed.

I was just drifting off to sleep when my mum popped her head round the door and said 'Sah you should have something to eat' I rolled over onto my left side facing the window watching the rain drops cascade down the window as I said 'I'm not hungry I just need to sleep'. The door closed and as I closed my eyes I saw my phone light up displaying a message from Ian which simply said 'Hey Sah hope your okay, you know where I am if you need to talk', I know I wasn't in a relationship with Robyn but she was a good friend and the grief I felt for her hurt just as much.