songfiction || GiyuShino

Photograph

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know

Shinobu's biggest mistake was loving people. That was when she was an unknowing child, holding in her scream as her parents were brutally devoured by disgusting demons. Now, she's an 18-year-old with no life ahead of her.

It's been so long, she wrote.

Nee-san, I've forgotten how to love.

The only thing she knew was to keep her unwavering smile on her face, which contained her ever-growing anger within.

When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

People called her amazing. Always professional and confident. But they didn't know how hard it could get. Her mental health was at its weakest. She was insane, yet which Hashira isn't?

It was only when a small cozy feeling surfaced that she slowly started feeling alive again.

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves

Shinobu hesitated before continuing writing, There was an airhead, a stupid and dense airhead. We made so many memories together and the only thing that remains of us now is a photograph.

Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and time forever frozen, still

Shinobu put the quill down and tiredly stood up from her chair. The wall shelves stared at her. The colorless photograph was still there, untouched in her lonely drawer.

She was amused in the picture. The water pillar was not smiling but blushing.

They were happy.

So you can keep me, inside the pockets of your ripped jeans
holding me closer till our eyes meet
You will never be alone
Wait for me to come home.

Giyuu kept the worn-out letter in his mismatched haori, taking it wherever he went. And he would hold it against his aching chest when he felt down.

He wondered how she was doing right now. When he was going to say a last goodbye to her at the Butterfly Mansion, he had visited her office, still neat and tidy. They'd have short conversations there, mostly Shinobu teasing him about having no friends, and those small memories were ones he would never let go.

In the office, there was a handwritten letter on her desk. There was no receiver. Although Giyuu knew better than that, his first instinct was to open the envelope. As he did so, a photo flew out.

It was of them together, happy.

In the letter Shinobu wrote, she was addressing the reader as nee-san.

Ah. So it's a letter for her sister. Giyuu realized.

But he kept reading.

Nee-san, he makes my heart race. He makes me not wanna die. Tomioka-san is the worst. He makes me feel as if I can love again.

But... love only brings loss in a world filled with demons. I don't want to love.

Still, I love him.

Love wasn't at all possible for demon slayers. If they wanted to love, they'd know better than to seek this gruesome job.

One day, when they're reborn in another world, he swore he would hug her tight, make her feel safe, and let her experience emotions that were forbidden in this world. 

Because Giyuu loved her too.