songfiction || GiyuShino

ikanaide

The train station buzzed with business and people were rushing all around. The train sounds and people chattering were unbearably loud. A bunch of high schoolers, maybe five or six, wearing uniforms laughed noisily as they got off the train, receiving several glares from the passersby. A businessman strided towards another train while on a call, yelling angrily into his phone. An exhausted mother hurried towards her wandering child who saw a train and decided to run towards it. She pulled him back and shouted at him while the kid wailed.

It felt suffocating for Giichi Tomioka. It felt so, so lonely. But he had no right to feel that.

Thought to myself
"I'm okay, I don't feel a thing"
But, in the end,
there's a drag weighing down on me

Shinobu chuckled, wondering if Giichi would be alright by himself.

I guess I can't stop seeing him as a little kid, even after all this time, she thought. Years passed and he grew taller than her, yet she remained more mature.

She began to wrap her arms around the devastated Giichi and gave him a warm we'll-meet-again hug. They both knew very well how it felt to be left behind. He rested his head on her shoulder, accepting the gesture. He wanted to hold her forever, never letting go, but this was the very side of him he needed to grow up on. As they pulled apart, Giichi tried a small smile, miserably blended with the inconsolable glint in his eyes.

She trusted that he would be alright by himself and smiled back, hiding the indescribable pain she felt in her chest well. She lied so often with the iconic 'I'm fine', so this was really nothing... She hoped.

But, at last, the time came where they had to part ways.

Running on ahead again,
you seemed to escape
Every step, never touching down
Couldn't do a thing
but stare without a sound

Shinobu slowly let go and glanced down at her phone to check the time. Her eyes landed on her wallpaper - the two of them smiling at the camera, her arm linked around his. She shook away the thought that she would soon be hundreds of thousands miles away from the one who lit up her life. She chose this path herself.

"I should be going now, Giichi-kun."

She placed a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to him. He was still a bit shaken, unable to bring himself to meet her eyes. While hers gleamed with indefinite possibilities and a hopeful future, his eyes reflected a clingy, over-reliant child who's defined by his trauma.

"Stop looking so gloomy, you're gonna make me sad!" She laughed light-heartedly. Her hand left his shoulder, her delicate touch briefly lingering.

Giichi took a deep shaky breath and swallowed back his tears, finally willing himself to focus on her. The violet tips of her pretty hair, the smile on her lips that always gnawed on his mind, then her stare. He would never forget those deep purple eyes.

Guided away, you walk to a train
while I'm standing left behind
Dashing off instead,
I reach out ahead but can't make it
through the room in time
Eyes getting wet, don't be upset,
but my heart really wants to cry
"Don't go away yet"

"Farewell, Giichi."

He hated goodbyes.

"Stay," He said with a weak resolve. He knew he would never be able to make her stay anyway.

"Don't go away yet."

His arms strained from the stress he was putting on his body. He could only watch her as her small figure dissipated away, out of reach.

Out of reach.

You're moving on to far and beyond,
while I'm standing left behind
Night running low and leaves me alone
dissolving you from my mind
Eyes getting wet, don't be upset,
but my heart really wants to cry
"Don't go away yet"

He lay in his bed, head underneath the covers with his arms wrapped around his legs.

Festival abating
now I'm waiting for reality
Yes, in the end,
every night is the same old thing
Breaking through it all,
you were bright, standing tall
How could I only see this now?
Couldn't do a thing
but stare without a sound

The clock moving on, it drags me along
with feet buried in the ground
Road going home is dark and alone,
but I'll make it out alive somehow
Flicks in the night, a lamp giving light
my long shadow left behind
I'm on my own, aren't I?

Just like her, the sun moved on and went away. Darkness greeted him like usual, but it would never be the same. The emptiness of the night was stronger now.

He strutted down the street, hands in sweater pockets and head lowered.

The street light flickered once, then twice. His irritation only grew. Without her by his side, he was just a child throwing another tantrum.

He kicked a pebble. 

The people he loved always went away. It was why he distanced himself from everyone in the first place. First his parents, then his sister. He couldn't even remember how her eyes looked anymore. All the good memories, trampled by the sound of a phone call from the hospital.

Everyone he ever loved and needed, gone. There was no one else to blame but himself. It was so hard to live, to keep breathing, to wake up every morning and get out of bed. He didn't feel like eating anymore.

Life was colourless until Shinobu suddenly came into his life and lifted him up from the black hole of a heart he created. She was everything he needed and more. He loved her, he wanted to say, but he was afraid it would cause her to leave like everyone else. But she left, anyway.

She promised she would come back, though, and he trusted her. For now, she has taken half his heart and travelled half the world away. When she comes back, she'll take the two pieces and mend it back together.

Or at least he hopes.

You're moving on to far and beyond,
while I'm standing left behind
Night blurring out without any doubt,
again it'll fill my mind
Eyes getting wet, don't be upset,
but my heart really wants to cry
"Don't go away yet"
Eyes getting wet, don't be upset,
but my heart really wants to cry
"Don't go away yet"