The night, I didn't sleep. I didn't want to live in his house anymore, I wanted to be back in my apartment. Maybe i was being dramatic, but i didnt care. After I skipped breakfast and took the metro to get to university, I knew what I did. I was ignoring Lei. I mean, everyone would have in my position, or? He gave me so many signals, only to say we're just good friends. He took my first kiss away from me, slept with me in one bed. Tears escaped my eyes and I ran out of the lecture hall, heading to the bathroom. There I locked myself into a stall and crumbled together on the floor. My breathing got faster and I held a hand on my forehead. I really couldn't deal with a panic attack now. 'Calm down Faye!' My grandma. Am I really starting to hear voices? The door opened and I saw shoes from a small person. "Hello?" I knew her from somewhere. "I saw you storming out of the hall. I wanted to look if you're okay." Wait, Shancai? I stood up and opened the door, meeting her face. "Shancai?" I must have looked terrible, cause her face was shocked. "Yeah, that's my name. Did you just got a... panic attack?" I nodded slightly. She hugged me suddenly. I knew she was a freshman, it is very rare to see a freshman hugging a senior. "Do you want to go eat lunch?" I smiled at her request. "Sure."
We both sat down in front of each other at an empty table. "There's a rumor going around that you and Lei are together." My eyes widened. "I don't wanna talk about him." "Why, what happened?" Didn't she understand? "I said I dont want to talk about him!" I raised my voice. I never got angry, why was that happening now? "Okay. I'm sorry." I tried again not to break out in tears. Shancai ate her food fast and then excused herself, wanting to get away from me. I plugged in my headphones. Sparks. My eyes landed on the familiar four boys, who were watching me from their table. Lei had a sad look on his face, the other ones too, expect Daoming Si, he had his dumb face on. I stood up and hung my bag over my shoulder, then threw my food I didn't take any bite of into the trash and headed out, not wanting to look at them.
"Are you really sure you want to move out, miss Faye?" I was standing in the hall of Lei's house. Alfred helped me to carry my luggage down the stairs, he's a nice man. "Yeah. Thanks for helping me carry." He nodded and then walked away, leaving me alone. I decided I would walk to my house, cause in the metro it would be too stressing.
I stood in front of my apartment door, turning the door knob and walked in, seeing a abandoned home. "Home sweet home."
I packed out all my things and sat down on my bed. I knew I didn't eat something today, but I just wasn't hungry. I distanced myself from Lei, cause I would only hurt myself more if I would be in his near. He didn't like me the way back I did, that was simple. But why did he asked to kiss me? Why did he said he laid an eye on me since he saw me the first time? Why did he kissed me on my cheek in front of the university? What was this man doing with me?
I woke up on the bathroom floor. After I got another attack in the night, I somehow ended up sleeping on the floor. I stood up and sighed, my back was hurting like someone broke it. I looked ar the mirror, seeing myself. I had big eye bags under my eyes and my eyes looked sick. I opened the cupboard and took some pills out of it, swallowing them. Then I changed into something more comfortable and left my apartment. It was Friday, meaning that I could finally relax a bit.
I didn't sleep in the first three lectures, but in the last one I couldn't hold it anymore and my body shut off.
I heard a whistle, then I woke up. I looked around and saw i was the only one left. My eyes catched a small note laying on my journal. '𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓌ℯ 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀?' Lei's handwriting was beautiful, just like he himself. No, stop, get yourself together. You'll get over Lei, Faye.
The next days were horror. Lei left me some notes on my journal when I slept in, he asked why I moved out so quick, even when he knew the answer. He knew that he broke my heart. I ignored him completely the whole week. Hua Ze Lei was in love with someone other, simple. I was just his toy to distract him from her.
I inherited a lot of money from my grandma, what helped me with my rent. I still worked in the cafe and the bookshop, where I would head today again, cause it was Sunday.
There were some customers, but they only looked at some books and then left the shop again. I, behind the counter had my headphones in and was reading a book, distracting me. The bell above the door ringed, meaning someone came in. My eyes were on the book, not looking up. "Can I buy this book?" I sat up and took the book, not taking my attention from the paper. I scanned it and saw what it was, Miss Peregrines home for children 6. It was the same one I led from Lei. "That makes 14.99$." The person handed me money and I recognized the hand. How didn't I recognize the voice already? My head slowly turned up, realizing who was standing in front of me. My hands started shaking and the book fell on the ground. "I knew I would find you here." I hated him, but I also loved him. I didn't say anything, I wanted him to speak. My face was cold as a stone, my inside panicking. He had a scarf on, which looked beautiful on him. "I was in Paris." I knew that, I heard that Lei was some time ago before I came in Paris for some time. "I followed Jing, cause I loved her." My heart ached at his sentence. "But she didn't like me back, so I needed to let go. And I did. One of the best decisions i ever did. Then you came." He started smiling. "When I first saw you, the only thing I could say about you, was that you're beautiful. Then I found out you were also talented. When I started driving you, I was so nervous, but when I saw you, I knew you were nervous too. That made me think we were alike. I was so scared when you called me, you never called me. When I saw you on the floor, my heart ached. You moved into my house and we started sleeping in the same bed. Then you came late and threw a snowball at me. We had a snowball fight, it was so fun. I realised, I felt something for you." My heart grew at this words. "I kissed you. Then, it happened so quickly. I told you we were just good friends, cause I didn't know what you thought about us. If I would have said we were together, that would have been a lie. And I know you hate lying." A smile formed on my face, he really remembered. "What I want to say with that.." I thought of the worst. "I'm in love with you." My mouth opened, everything around us got quiet and I felt the tears coming out of my eyes. "Why are you crying?" Lei had this caring face again on. "I'm just so happy." I started grinning and more tears streamed down my face. He started smiling too. "Your shift must be over now, I'll take you home." I wiped my tears away and nodded, then packed my things together. We walked out of the shop and I locked it behind me. I looked up and saw snow falling from the sky. A smile formed on my lips. I turned to Lei, who was looking up too. I walked to him and got on my tiptoes. He lowered his head and smiled at me. Then he rested his hands on my cheeks, dragged me near to him and let our lips touch. The kiss now, was something completely different. It was exciting, romantic and soft. I placed my arms around his neck, feeling his body heat. We slowly pulled away, but our faces still were so near to each other, that we could feel each others breath. "You're so beautiful, Mizuno Faye." Snow fell on our heads. "You don't look too bad yourself, Hua Ze Lei."
