Kalatus - xiaoscara/scaraxiao

lemon blueberry scones

clickbait

i know for a fact that all the xiaoscara shippers went wild over the va interaction

anyways

more flirting, spilled tea, more controversy on the starz, more gay shit, kisses(?), we don't talk about mount hulao, a trip to the motherfucking wansheng funeral parlor, let me in this is a threat, plans, scara is being a gay fuck and maybe doing some suggestive things to mess with xiao, stolen hairlines, crusty ass weaves, whom the fuck, ft. crusty long chap, slight angst, girlbossing too close to the mcfucking burning ball of plasma, ooc moments
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Xiao's POV

FandangoMan: hey bitch

I look down at my phone to see bowl cut boy send me a message. how irritating. I'm always annoyed at him yet I always respond to his messages. I guess I do have some tolerance for him. He isn't all that bad. Ok, fine. He's cute when he's not being an annoying little prick. Unfortunately, he is always an annoying little prick to me. I sigh as I pick up my phone to respond.

Kalatus: what.

FandangoMan: oh? whats this??

Bitch. I don't know you're the one that texted me. Does he just enjoy pissing me off? Actually, you know what? Yeah. He probably does. I wake up everyday and wonder why I text him back, and then I do, and instantly regret it. I don't want to leave though...

Kalatus: what?? you were the one that called me online idiot.

FandangoMan: I know, I know. just surprised that you responded so quickly. didn't you say you "couldn't tolerate my annoying ass" and told me to "fuck off" the last time we hung out?

Ok, I kind of forgot about that.

(wow, what got your asshole so tight today?)

Ok, I'll admit, my mind immediately went to the gutters. Hu tao you're a terrible influence. Who even comes up with a response like that? I try to calm down before responding. Archons this man gives me a headache. Damnit I'm still blushing...

Kalatus:

Kalatus: you are.

FandangoMan: so you like being annoyed and teased?

I'm going to skin this fuckass alive and dump his body into a river. My face is still hot. Note to self, drown Hu Tao. My brain has been officially thrown into the gutter. I hate it. I hate being teased. ugh.

Kalatus changed FandangoMan's name to WillByres

WillByres: huh somehow thats even worse.

WillByres changed Kalatus's name to redfromangrybirds

redfromangrybirds:

redfromangrybirds: well that makes the two of us.

WillByres: :)

redfromangrybirds changed WillByre's name to Kumi

Kumi: oh?

redfromangrybirds: kuni*

Kumi: ouh huh

redfromangrybirds: I'm not changing it

Kumi: why did you change it in the first place then???

redfromangrybirds: cause I'm not about to open my phone everyday to a slur