the nickname game

𝘁𝗲𝗻 - vicarious kiss

The next morning Madison woke up on the living room floor and looked around at her friends still sleeping in their sleeping bags. There was only one empty sleeping bag and soon she figured out it was Hailey's. Madison crawled out of her sleeping bag and started looking for her.

It wasn't difficult to find Hailey. She was in her own bed and was sleeping peacefully. Madison walked up to the bed and sat down next to her on the mattress. Hailey yawned as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning princess" Madison said. "Why didn't you spend your night on the floor with us?"

"It was hurting my back" Hailey answered sleepily.

Madison rolled over Hailey's body and laid down next to her in the queen sized bed. She pulled the cover over her body and was ready to get a little more sleep but it was impossible. Her brain wasn't letting her drift off to sleep again.

Instead she was thinking about Lawrence and his soft lips. When she thought about their kiss she could remember his hand on her thigh so well that she almost could feel it being there again. She would do anything to relive that moment. It was unbelievable that she had been able to forget the feeling of kissing Lawrence after the first time.

"What was it like?" Hailey asked out of nowhere.

"What was what like?" Madison was taken aback by the sudden question.

"What was it like to kiss him? The plan was for the bottle to land on me but since it didn't you have to tell me what it was like. So bring it on - tell me all the details" Hailey whispered eagerly.

"It wasn't anything special really. He was actually a bit slimy" she obviously couldn't admit that this was the best kiss of her life. "You are lucky you didn't have to kiss him."

"Well that's probably just because the two of you have no chemistry" she whispered back as she got out of bed.

Unwillingly Madison too got out of Hailey's cozy bed and followed her into the kitchen. They began preparing breakfast for everyone while one after one woke up and joined them in the cooking. The last person to wake up was Kayden but luckily for him he woke up just as breakfast was served.

They had croissants, eggs, bacon, toast, juice and coffee. Everybody sat down with plates filled to the brim with food. Compared to them Madison's plate looked empty. She had grabbed a small amount of almost everything and a cup of black coffee.

"Mads, aren't you hungry?" Atticus asked but she just shook her head with a smile in response.

She knew her portions were small and that she ate less than the average person. It was something she consciously did in order to feel in control of something. Today was one of those days when she felt a strong need of being in control of some part of her life.

"Hailey, after everyone leaves, do you think I can stay so we can work on our project?" Coralie asked which just reminded Madison about another thing she was trying to repress.

"Sure, maybe we can finish it today. How are your groups doing?" Hailey asked which made Madison stare down at her barely touched plate of food.

"Okay, we're about halfway through" Lawrence answered.

"Oh so are you working together or are you doing all the work by yourself?" Coralie's annoying voice asked.

"We're doing it together" Lawrence stated even though that definitely wasn't the case.

"Really? I mean school and Maddy goes together just as well as oil and water" Madison looked up at Coralie as she spoke. "Am I wrong?"

By now, she was used to Coralie's comments. She could be really unfiltered and say things without thinking them through so Madison had learnt to just ignore her and whatever bullshit was coming out of her mouth.

"No, you're actually right. I mean I love you, Maddy, but it's not like you even try at school. You don't ever pay attention in class and I don't think anyone has ever spent as many hours in detention as you" the last thing she had expected was for those words to come from Hailey.

It wasn't like Madison was unaware that she didn't have the best grades and sometimes ended up in detention. But it had nothing to do with her not trying her best. For some reason it just seemed to be harder for her. She couldn't sit still and focus on assignments she didn't understand no matter how hard she tried. But if anyone knew how much time and effort she put into her school work it was Hailey.

"Yeah, school is just not for me. I'm just that stupid and I'm apparently so stupid that I completely forgot I have a shift at work today, so I- I have to go" Madison made up and began walking towards the door as she was talking.

She hurried out of the apartment as fast as possible so she could be left alone. The feeling of her hands beginning to shake, the hot sensation behind her eyelids and the difficulty to breathe without hyperventilating was a little too familiar. They were all signs that she was about to cry, which she hated to do in front of people.

As she got out of the building she felt a tear running down her cheek. She tried to take a deep breath of fresh air but it didn't stop the tears from escaping. The last thing she wanted to do was to cry over something stupid like this. Hailey's intention hadn't been to hurt her, which she knew, but she had managed to anyways.

What Hailey had said only confirmed some of Madison's biggest insecurities. If not even her best friend could see how hard she tried at school, could anyone? They probably just saw her as the stupid girl who didn't want to learn anything and didn't try at all. She was just one of those troubled girls.