It Had To Be Her

6: Pretending Everything Is Normal

Hermione

The moment of being kissed by not just Professor Snape but by the wolf that inhabited him played over and over like a broken record in my mind. Surprisingly, Kaelin had been quite the gentleman, but Snape...oh my. I had no idea he was that passionate.

My mind seemed to be in a fog about that, so much so that it was difficult to get a handle on my studies. In Potions class, when I couldn't avoid Professor Snape, he treated me as if he didn't snog me senseless and groped my breast. As the moon began to get fuller, however, I noticed that my senses had become more accute. Had he always worn such earthy but light cologne? And why did his voice affect me more?

Also, I found it harder and harder to sleep because inside my core, it was aching for something it never had and had always been curious about. I had to clamp my legs together to try to stop how it was almost painful in how sensitive I had become between my legs.

On Friday, Professor Snape asked to see me after class, and when everyone was gone, and he had shut the laboratory door and locked it, that was when he turned to me.

"I want to apologize for my conduct while I was in the hospital wing. It was wrong and against the rules."

I felt relieved by that, but I had to point out about the moon's phase, "I accept your apology...Severus. I feel odd calling you by name still."

He nodded. "Likewise. Still, we could always choose not to engage as destiny demands it, although I would not cause you undue harm if it can be avoided."

My cheeks flushed at the implications there. "I...I'm not completely ignorant as to how sex works. But are you saying you would reject me?"

He stopped his restless pacing and took my hands in his. "I realize that our age difference is quite sizable, and if you would rather prefer someone your own age, you would not hurt my feelings."

He was giving me an out like an honest gentleman, and I was truly touched by his gesture, but for some reason, I could not name I found myself refusing that.

I nodded to myself, deciding, "No, I think... I think I want to go through with this. Most wizards my age are intimidated by my intelligence, or they find me tiresome in general, and I know I annoy myself sometimes because I get anal retentive in wanting to know more than anyone else, but beyond that I...I don't know, I quite like...well, you."

"You know nothing about me."
"We can change that."

He let go of my hands and leaned over his desk. "My life has no room for these...complications in it. If you knew me, witch, I doubt you would be so willing to be bound to me for life. You deserve someone not so haunted or walking such a dark path as mine."

I placed a hand on his back and rubbed it, "My past isn't so squeaky clean itself, you know."

He looked at me, and I felt him touch my mind gently, and I let him see what he wanted to. He drew back when he saw how my dad treated me when I was little. He narrowed his eyes, "He had no right to hit you like that."

I nodded. "That only happened when he drank, or my mum and him had argued, which was often. I think he didn't do anything sexual because of his conscience, but it's something not even my friends know about me."

"Lucky them. My childhood was... not something I would ever inflict on any child. My father -"

"Hey, it's okay. You don't need to tell me if you don't want to," I soothed.

"I will, in time. But if you are certain you wish to see this bond through, whatever it is, then I think it should be afterward."

"You mean after we... you know."