SamBucky Oneshots

Wrecked (2)

A slice of angst for aina_3215 :) 

N̶o̶v̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ 1̶, 2̶0̶2̶6̶ 3̶ 1̶3̶ 2̶8̶ December 25, 2026

It's Christmas evening. The cops have left my back for a while. I'm not sure how I feel about it. My hands itch for something to hold and pummel across the room. Sometimes it's my own vibranium arm.

I don't really celebrate Christmas. The last time was with S̶a̶ him. It was me, him, his sister and her two boys. Aj and Cass, if I'm correct. I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ I̶ a̶m̶. I̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶n̶'t̶ m̶e̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶m̶ f̶o̶r̶ a̶ l̶o̶n̶g̶ w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶, t̶h̶e̶y̶ f̶e̶e̶l̶ u̶n̶r̶e̶a̶l̶ n̶o̶w̶. Steve sent me a post card this morning. Somehow he always knows where I'm holed up. I haven't read it yet, it still sits near the doormat, untouched. I cannot gather enough energy to get up and rip it open or apart. This is how I am most days, devoid of energy and emotion.

Do you remember our first Christmas? I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶.

Fury sent Clint after me a few weeks ago. He and I are no match. He is merely a human – but so were you. How can a mere human turn my world upside down? I have never felt loved in the way that I do when I'm with you. And now that I have a taste of it, a taste of being loved as much as the sky loves the clouds, I fear I'll forever be thirsty.

Anyway, Clint found me. He and I had a few drinks. He told me about Sarah, about how she was looking for me. About how every once in a while she would open a bottle of wine and pass out, mumbling about how it should've been me. She doesn't know I wish that every single day, every single moment. The feeling of unfairness burning my tongue, down my throat, scalding my insides. Some days it is hard to not feel the acidic taste of it scarring my lips.

S̶o̶m̶e̶d̶a̶y̶s̶ i̶t̶ i̶s̶ h̶a̶r̶d̶ t̶o̶ r̶e̶m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ h̶e̶r̶.

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January 1, 2027

Zemo showed up.

I didn't know he knew where I was. He showed up and made himself at home before I even got myself out of my room. His eyes resonated the pent up anger and anguish I had been feeling lately, and I finally understood why he did what he did.

We sat together, untouched by the happiness that blossomed around us. In glasses that could've cost a fortune, we drank rich wine. None of us spoke a word. He stayed until midnight when the fireworks started. Together, we watched them, our glasses still only half empty. The sky painted itself in vibrant colors as I drowned in the same black that had surrounded me ever since you left.

He was by the door when I said something. I don't recall what I had said. It was my first w̶o̶r̶d̶ sentence in weeks, months.

"I see her too, sometimes."

Then he left, the door clicking shut behind him, locking me back in the nightmare I was living.  

T̶e̶l̶l̶ m̶e̶ h̶o̶w̶ a̶m̶ I̶ s̶u̶p̶p̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ m̶o̶v̶e̶ o̶n̶?̶