Hey Emo Boy

01

Stan Marsh

What the hell happened? What else can I say? I used to be happy, then my whole life fell apart.

Sure, I may have been stuck with an overly obsessive girlfriend that wanted me by her side 24/7, but I liked it!

And yes, I may have lost contact with all my friends, but I saw them at school!

I know It's all so overwhelming, how about we start at the beginning? Alright, February 18th, fourth grade.

-February 18th of fourth grade-

"No dude, the legend of Zelda is not the best video game!" My best friend, Kyle, argued with me. "Yes it is!" I argued back. "Who even plays that anymore?" He asked.

"I do!" I yelled. Just then, my girlfriend, Wendy, came up to us. "Hi Stan!" She greeted cheerfully. "Hey wendy," I said. "We should go on a date!"

She said as she grabbed my hand. "Sure," I responded. Kyle cleared his throat very loudly. "Sorry, dude," I said as I fist bumped him. "It's okay, but next time we're playing video games!"

He said enthusiastically. "Of co-" "Let's get going stan," Wendy interrupted and dragged me away from kyle.

"Stan you need to pay more attention to me, I'm your girlfriend!" Wendy told me as we walked through the hallway.

"Yeah, and Kyle's my best friend," I said. She glared at me. "It's me or him Stan, you've already messed up once!" She whisper-yelled.

-right now-

That's the last time I hung out with Kyle. Wendy would drag me to go shopping and dumb girl shit like that. I did miss him, but I really liked Wendy.

She was mature, and hot. As time progressed, she got even hotter. I would hang out with her and her friends at sleepovers and stuff.

I missed playing video games until sunrise. But hey, at least my skin was clear.

Ahh, where was I?

-earlier this morning-

I was sound asleep, dreaming about what a normal teenage boy dreams of. It was the weekend, the perfect time for relaxation.

NOT!

My phone rang and rang and it rang so fucking loud. I groaned as I picked it up. It wasn't my alarm, it was Wendy calling me.

I answered and put her on speaker. "STANLEY MARSH! WHY HAVE YOU BEEN AVOIDING MY CALLS AND TEXTS?" She yelled.

"Can you not be so loud? I literally just woke up," I said rubbing my eyes. "We need to talk," She said. I got up and headed to the bathroom.

"About what?" I asked. "I don't know how to say this, and I know you don't like things being sugarcoated," She said.

"Uh huh," I murmerd as I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste from a cabinet.

"We need to break up," She said. My heart dropped to my stomach. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I've been cheating on you," Wendy said in a whisper.

My vision started to get foggy. "What the fuck Wendy? With who?" I asked. "Tolkien, and bebe," She said. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

I yelled. She gasped and started to cry. "Stan I-" "I'VE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I'VE LEFT MY FRIENDS! MY HOBBIES! MY LIFE! ALL FOR YOU!"

I screamed as tears rolled down my face. "I'm sorry," She whispered over and over again. "What is wrong with you?" I asked in a shaky breath. She just kept repeating that word. Sorry.

"We can still be friends!" She said, her voice cracking. "I don't think so, bye Wendy," I said before hanging up on her.

I sat on the bathroom floor, balling my eyes out. There was a knock on the door. "Turd are you okay? I heard screaming open up," My sister said. "Leave me alone shelly!" I yelled.

The knob turned and the door flew open. "I said, LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed. Shelly sat on the floor next to me. She examined me closely.

"Was it your girlfriend? Did she dump you?" Shelly asked. "Why can't you just leave?" I asked in a hushed voice. "Becuase I'm your sister, turd. You're stuck with me until the end of your days,"

She said as she wrapped her arms around me. She embraced me into a hug as I cried. That's one of the very few occasions where you will see me cry and Shelly hugging me.

-right now-

But boy does it get worse. My girlfriend of almost seven years had dumped me. Even though I was there when she needed me.

I was there to pay for her meal. I was there when she had no one else.

And then she threw me away, like a piece of paper. Damn.

Now you may be asking, how can that possibly get worse? Well I'll tell you.

-earlier this evening-

I sat in my room all day, eating ice cream and watching stupid reality shows. Shelly had gone out with her boyfriend, leaving me all alone.

Luckily, a couple minutes later my parents came home. "Stanley!" My mother called from downstairs.

I got off my bed and headed down the stairs. "What mom?" I asked. My parents were sitting at the table in formal attire.

They both had worried looks on their faces, which made me worry. "Take a seat stan," my dad said. I took a seat across from them.

They looked at eachother and my mom let out a shaky sigh. "Stanley you know how things between me and dad have been sort of Rocky, right?"

My mom asked. "Yeah," I said. "Well, we decided it would be best if we....seperated," Mom finished. My eyes widened.

I opened my mouth to say something but I instantly closed my mouth. "We know it's tough, but you gotta understand this is the right decision," dad said.

I nodded and closed my eyes for a moment. "Stan? Are you okay?" Mom asked. "Yeah, yeah. I just need um, some time to process this," I said.

I put my hands on my face and exhaled sharply. "Oh stanley," Mom said as she came up behind me and gave me a hug.

-right now-

So that's how my day went. Pretty shitty right? My girlfriend cheated on me and dumped me, and my parents are getting a divorce.

Everything was perfect. But suddenly my life went downhill. Everything that I loved was ruined in a couple of hours.

It really hurt. It hurt as much as getting stabbed in the heart. I've never experienced it, but this has to be similar.

It stung. Like a bee. Maybe I was always depressed. Maybe this was just my last straw. I wouldn't be surprised.

The way I summed my shitty day up was pretty shitty. I cried myself to sleep. What a shitty thing to do, am I right?