Catch Me If I Fall |l.h

Chapter Twenty Nine

I sadly had to open my eyes as I dreaded this going to be long Monday. I'm going to back to school where I've been going back and forth. Some days I wouldn't want to see the people I hate, even Luke. But when I'm not there, there's many rumors flying around and about. Some saying "I got knocked up by Luke" or " I killed myself because I miss Todd", stupid things like that. I try to not let it effect me, but it's hard.

After taking a quick shower and getting ready, I forgot to wake up Calum. Lately he hasn't been himself and I know why, but it isn't healthy. Sometimes I catch him up at three o'clock in the morning watching TV in the living room and eating random junk food on the couch. It's beginning to become a habit and it needs to stop.

I still haven't forgave him or either of them, but seeing Calum like this hurts me more then anything else. I think I should just slowly start to forgive him, like finally give him a ride to school, and start from there. I knock on the door and hear nothing but snores. I sigh and open the door, disgusted on how is room is so messy and has it's own kind of stench.

I look around and see clothes all over the floor, some even clean. Good thing the cleaning lady comes today. He has dirty cups, plates and even forks all on his desk. Papers everywhere that are half completed, some are just blank. I look over at him, his lips slightly parted, while the snores are coming out of his mouth, drool coming out.

I giggle and just look at him in awe. I remember when we were little and I would always make him put a towel or a plastic bag on my pillow at night when he slept with me. He would always get mad at me and say 'I'm such a girl' but sorry I didn't want drool on my pillows!

I would do anything to go back in time and cherish those moments so much. Especially going back and treated my mom and dad the way they should've been treated. I didn't know what I had until I lost it, and I could never get it back, never get him back.

"Calum wake up we have school" I shove him. I roll my eyes and start shaking him to wake up, he just mumbles and covers his face.

"Calum get up" I groan getting frustrated. I walk over and open up the blinds and curtains, the sun shining right on his face. His nose scrunched up and covered his face with a pillow, mumbling something in the pillow.

"Okay geez I'm up" He mumbled slowly lifting his body up from the bed, tossing the pillow beside him. His hair was all over the place, his eyes were droopy and his face had no expression. I sigh and walk pass him, stopping before I left the room.

"Be ready by 7:45, I'll drive you in late" I said walking out without him responding back.

~

I've been alone all day and it's finally lunch. Everyone was on a school trip today, besides me. I didn't want to go on it, it's a great opportunity to go to school and not worry about the people I hate (and people that hate me) around.

I walk in the cafeteria and immediately go on line for food. I look down at the ground and remember when Luke literally started a stupid fight because he cut the line and called me princess. And he even punched me in the face by accident while he was fighting Todd, I mean come on.

I smile and shake my head, crazy for thinking about Luke everywhere I go. I can't help it that the only great, real memories I have is with Luke. The memories that make me feel like I'm actually worth living for. He helped me through everything and ever since he hasn't been with me, I've been lost. I lost my routine in the morning, I have a habit of waiting by my locker for him, sometimes I accidentally open my messages and almost text him.

I miss him. I miss him like the desert missing rain. I miss being alive, I'm not truly alive without him. But I can't go back so easily to him. It's like emptiness filled with pain that only time can partially heal. It might be easy to say the words 'I forgive you', but in reality it's harder than you can imagine. Forgiving is like turning a key, opening the cell door, and let the prisoner walk free. Forget the crime that the prisoner did, but sometimes it's hard to forget and it's there in the back of your mind, hard to wash it away.