Evelyn's Tale

-Thirty Four-

TW: mention of abortion

24th March, 1945

Just like every morning, the delightful chirping of birds sounded outside the field tent. Inside, there was one person who had genuinely considered taking someone's gun and shooting the blasted things. What did they have to be so happy about exactly?

Evelyn sighed and pulled her blanket up over her face, trying to block out the noise and the sunlight. Trying to block out anything she could. Trying to block out the fact that she was growing a tiny life inside her and she had no idea how to deal with it.

All night, she lay in bed with anxious energy radiating through her very being. She could physically feel herself shaking with nerves as she tried to process what was happening. For most women, finding out they were expecting a child was wonderful, precious, a miracle. For most women, to know that their bodies were sustaining and giving life to another human was something heartwarming and mind blowingly amazing. But Evelyn felt no such joy. She felt only dread. There was not one single feeling of warmth or joy inside her whatsoever.

All night she had tried to imagine herself being someone's mother and it terrified her to the core. She was not ready for this. She had always known that one day she wanted to be a mother, but that day was far from now. And there was no way that seven months was enough time to prepare her for it. There were things she wanted to do in life. She wanted to go back home to Philadelphia and make a life for herself first. Get a good job and save up money to travel. There were so many things she wanted to see and do. Having a baby now wasn't part of those plans. When she eventually had a baby, she wanted it to be something that was planned and wanted. Not like this.

"Evelyn?" she heard Eugene whisper from the cot next to her own.

She ignored him in the hopes that he would think she was still asleep and therefore leave her alone. In less than an hour she was going to have to arise and pretend that nothing was amiss. She wanted to savour every single second of being able to let herself wallow and panic simultaneously.

"Don't ignore me," Eugene said. "I know you're awake. I've been listening to you toss and turn all night long."

A few seconds later and the blanket was pulled off of her to reveal Eugene sat up and watching her with a concerned expression upon his face.

"George told me," he whispered.

Evelyn sighed. Of course he did. George Luz couldn't hold his own water. She wanted to be mad at him for revealing her secret to someone, but how could she be? George was many things but he wasn't someone who would ever intentionally upset her. She knew that he would have told Eugene out of concern. But still, she was in such a foul mood that she allowed herself to be aggravated by it. In fact, she craved it. She craved the thought of being aggravated by something other than this hideous situation she found herself in.

"What are you going to do?"

To shrug was her only answer.

"You can't just ignore the problem and hope it will go away," Eugene told her. "I know that's your answer to everything, but this time it just won't work."

She just stared at him, not having the energy to say anything. She just about managed to summon up a quick fuck off in her head, and even then that took all of her strength.

"You can tell me to do that if you want," Eugene smirked, seeing it written all over her face. "You can say anything if it makes you feel better. But you cannot hide from this no matter how hard you try. You're having a-"

"-Shut up," she hissed, sitting up and glancing around the room. Mercifully, everyone seemed to be fast asleep, but she couldn't take the risk that Eugene would say the word out loud and someone would overhear. "Are you deliberately trying to announce it to the whole world?"