When Lions And Snakes Play Together: A Cautionary (But Funny)Tale

t.h.r.e.e : Meeting The Guys

Ah yes, as the god's observer of all, I shall report on the wacky povs with the character's name marking this part of this cautionary tale as not being part of our fave witch's story. Her povs will not be marked above her chapters.  Enjoy! --Quillmistress

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Ron

Ronald Weasley had second, third, and fourth thoughts going into being an engaged wizard. He cared for Hermione, he did, and his mum basically betrothed them both ever since she figured out fourth year that Hermione wasn't in that weird ass love triangle as Rita Skeeter reported in her nasty articles in the Daily Prophet. But, and this was a biggie, he hated feeling like for the rest of his life he was going to have to be with like one witch all his life. Like Hermione's quim was it, finito, no others, no experimenting to see if he wanted to spice things up. Nope, just hers, his...wife's snatch.

Harry was playing the dating game himself. He didn't exactly like that his sister was one of the witches caught in the collateral damage of that, but hey, wizards had needs, right? Of course they did.

Ron was pacing his small bedroom in his family's home, The Burrow, and wondered if fleeing from this whole thing was the best idea in the long run. The knock sounded on his door, as expected, and it was his mum on the other side. He answered it. "Hey, mum."

She frowned. "Are you alright, Ronnie? It's not the upcoming trip to the States. Is it?

He shrugged. "I guess. I dunno. Am I doing the right thing? I know you and dad are endgame, but what if Mione and I aren't?"

His mother patted his head as if he were Muffins, the family ginger tabby cat. "Well, then this bachelor party will help you to decide that for sure, won't it?"

"You're right. But Harry's been spending too much time with Ferret Junior, and I'm worried that I'm like replaceable and stuff."

His mum pulled him into her arms even though he was a grown ass adult. "Oh honey, you're Harry's best friend ever. You can never be replaced."

Ron felt reassured by this, and so felt easier in his heart. Harry was downstairs with Malfoy and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, along with Blaise Zabini, Malfoy's best friend that Ginny liked for some bizarre reason. Tweedle Dee and Dum were Crabbe and Goyle, of course and Harry was laughing at something Malfoy was saying.

Harry noticed him, and Harry crushed him in a bear hug. "Hey man, there's the lucky groom to be. Ready to go to Vegas?"

"You make it sound like a big deal. It's just a city in America."

Malfoy laughed, "Spoken like someone who's never traveled. I can't wait to see my dad drunk, Snape too, if they knock a lot back you'll see some real fun shit then."

Blaise chuckled, "Oh yeah, especially if there's an open mike night somewhere. You owe me ten galleons if Snape sings."

"There's no way Dungeon Bat can sing," Ron asserted.

The Slytherins rolled their eyes at him, and Crabbe shoved a muggle music thingy in his hands, a cassette player of all things. "Just play it, Weasel. Is this their Beatles phase or Doors, Drake?"

Malfoy grinned. "Doors, but one track sounds like a Beatles track. My dad can't sing like Morrison, dad's better at impersonating Robert Plant's tenor because he can hit the higher notes, but Snape's baritone works for singing anything that doesn't sound too theatrical is how he puts it."

Ron was lost with all this talk of singing and music theory. He pressed the triangle on the player for Play. Some track called Light My Fire played, and sure enough Snape was freaking singing, and doing a good job of it too. When it was over, Malfoy fast forwarded the tape to play something King Ferret sang. "Oh, this is good. Dad wrote this for my mother."

The song was a love letter and at the end of it, mum clapped. "Oh Draco, you didn't tell us your father and godfather were so talented."

Malfoy shrugged. "It's something they only do when they can socialize, or over drinks. The girls will love it, but good luck getting my godfather loosened up to actually sing even karaoke."

Mum nodded. "Well, I think it's lovely that they have a hidden talent. Thank you for sharing it with us."

"No problem." Malfoy checked his watch. "I think we've given the girls enough time to get ready. Now that the man of the hour is here, we can apparate to where we have to meet up with dad and my Uncle."

"It's still weird that you call Snape your Uncle though," Harry pointed out.

"Well he's like my dad's brother in all but name, so why not call him my Uncle? I couldn't call him that in school, but he doesn't mind. I imagine it was like that with you and my Uncle Sirius."

Harry smiled. "Oh yeah, I kinda forgot that Sirius was your mum's cousin. You're right, Drake, it does make sense."

Goyle yawned. "It's too damn early to be up without no coffee. You sure we ain't got no time to stop by Barnie's on the way to picking up Pansy and the girls?"

"Afraid not my man, Weasel wouldn't get out of bed quick enough," Blaise put in.

Crabbe laced his fingers through Goyle's because apparently they were a thing, Ron thought, a bit surprised. Malfoy, Zabini, and Harry acted like this was the norm, which he supposed it was.

"I can't help that I needed food."

"Why you're not three hundred pounds is amazing to me, Weasel," Malfoy teased. "Anyway, we're meeting up at Granger's house so the limo can pick us up to take us to Heathrow. Hope that makes you happy, Ronnikins, you get to see your girl. You too, Blaise."

Blaise grinned. "You really have to rub it in that I'm dating her, don't you? At least I have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, Weaslette."

"Maybe I'm holding out for some strange during this whole schindig, you never know."

Mum returned and Ron hugged his mother. She had to embarrass him like usual, and kiss his cheeks just like he was little. She handed him a box of condoms. "Just in case you guys get into doing questionable activities. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, as the muggles say."

Ron put the box in his carry on bag, and shouldered it. "Mum, eww. I'm not going to be like Malfoy and just do...whatever. I'm engaged, remember?"

She laughed, "Sure. Just humor your mother and take them. I don't want any grand babies before the wedding. Or for you to get herpes on your little winkie that never goes away."

"It's not..that little."
"Sure it isn't dear. I love you, Ronnie."

"Love you too, mum."

The guys were trying their best to hold in their laughter, Harry especially. Malfoy tossed in the floo powder, and shouted their destination. Each guy did, and when it was just him and Harry, Harry shocked him by taking his hand in his. "Let's do this together. How about it?"

Why in the heck did he feel tingles from Harry holding his hand?? This was odd to say the least. Harry shouted their destination once they stepped into the fireplace and emerald flames, and ended up in Hermione's living room while the girls were in the kitchen cleaning up from their breakfast. Lo and behold Snape and Malfoy senior were there, and were helping to clean up.

Hermione greeted Ron with a welcome kiss, and it felt nice, but something was missing. A spark of some kind. He glanced at Harry, and let Hermione and them greet one another, but Ron fought down this odd feeling of jealousy, and it wasn't towards Hermione this time. What the heck was going on with him? He aimed to find out, and soon. Little did he know just how much this trip to Vegas would change their lives forever, not just for the night...