When Lions And Snakes Play Together: A Cautionary (But Funny)Tale

t.w.e.l.v.e: Turning Out Of The Pockets

Ginny

Hermione and Snape had returned for dinner.. finally. Although only Ron and Harry seemed remotely surprised by the outcome that Hermione did have a bonding ceremony, it just wasn't witnessed by anyone but them. Malfoy senior was subdued but busy with whatever business he had going on. Draco wasn't happy that his dad was so busy, but Luna was over the moon with her new pet, and when she found out that she did indeed buy the wampus cat, she talked about buying a female.

"That wouldn't be wise, Luna," She tried to persuade her friend, "I doubt the Ministry will like you taking an American native magical creature to England for your own personal zoo."

The look she flashed her was cold and unlike her at all. "Need I remind you that I am a licensed Magiozoologist, Ginny? My job is literal species preservation at the Ministry, and cats like Storm are nearly extinct. I saved him from being exploited from Circus Circus, awful, ignorant muggles."

Harry stepped in. "I think what Ginny means is that Storm is..well, kind of dangerous."

Luna rolled her eyes, petting her cat. "Whatever. It's time for his nap anyway. Come along, sweetie, mum will keep her mean friends away from you."

More receipts were piled up on the main dining table. Parvarti was mortified. "Me?? How was it me that paid for that degenerate to come and shake his booty?!"

Padma giggled, "Oh, you did have sex with the guy too, and laughed when he suggested the champagne package. He first suggested it for Hermione, but you sure showed him by poking him in the ass with the butt end of your wand."

Parvarti looked worried, "Great, just what I didn't want, a complete stranger wizard using his dick on me. This isn't funny, Padma!"

Padma grinned, "Oh, come on it is kinda funny. If I wasn't solely into girls, I'd hop on him in a second."

Harry pulled out his receipt next. "Oh boy. Ron, I think you and I ran up a big bar tab at somewhere called Amigos?"

Draco laughed when he looked up the information on his phone. "Oh, it's a huge gay bar. I don't remember all that happened, but you did hit it off with some of the drag queens there."

Harry shrugged. "Oh, I guess that explains why my condom supply is down. Pansy, babe, it's your turn."

Pansy looked through her receipts. "Hmm. Snacks for the rooms, like a lot of them. Pizza, soda pop, blah, blah, blah, more fae dust and muggle Marijuana. Oh! Here's something interesting: it looks like towards the end of the night, most of us gambled a bit at the Luxor and won about $50k in muggle American money."

"No maj, Pansy," Millicent corrected her. "They don't call them muggles in America."

"So, where is that money?" Ginny asked.

Padma was digging through the main couch and began eating sofa pizza. "Mmm! I love after-party pizza."

"Ewww, oh my God Padma, did you just like eat gross sofa pizza?!" Parvarti demanded. "You need Jesus. You truly do."

"I guess none of y'all want these blackjack chips," Padma replied. "And Jesus needs me, sis, not the other way around."

"I'll still pray for you."

"Yep, you do that from your line at the free healer clinic to get that STD shot," Padma shot back.

Snape cast vermillious with his wand, and the whole room quieted down. "Now that the emotional effusiveness has been dealt with, I believe that it is best that all of you retrace your steps."

"You make that sound like no one else, but you remembers anything," Ginny declared.

He was about to answer when Hermione spoke up. "That is because he does remember. It comes from being a born legilimens."