Memory Lane

Chapter Twenty Eight

"I turned to speak to God about the world's despair, but to make bad matters worse I found God wasn't there."

Memory Lane: Chapter Twenty Eight

I stay quiet, letting him decide how much to tell me without prodding him anymore. The mood has gravely shifted and I understand this is not something for me to try and push. All I can do is be here for him. Jesse has shared a little about his dad with me, but never to this extent.

A part of me wonders if he'll shut down and leave it at that. But from his grip on my hand, held so tightly as if he needs it for strength, I know that he's going to continue.

The sounds of Main Street fill the sudden silence. The occasional car drives by, filling our ears with the roar of their engine and murmur of their radio, the bark of a dog running around his backyard from a house nearby, and the sound of the moths circling the street lamp above us, hitting the fixture on their quest for warmth.

The stars aren't visible tonight. I wish they were. But the cloudy sky seems to resemble the mood circling around the story Jesse is about to share. I stare at the sky, wondering where the moon is hiding.

Over the purr of a passing engine, Jesse takes in a breath to prepare himself and my eyes snap back to him.

"He was driving drunk and I was in the truck with him."

Despite the chills that appear all over my body, I keep my expression calm and I continue to rub soothing patterns into his hand with my thumb. I know the pain of opening up about the hardest and darkest memories of you. What you need at that moment is someone strong to listen and be your guiding light to get through it all.

"I tried to drive," Jesse's jaw flexes and his brow narrows. "I argued with him over who would take the wheel. But he wouldn't let me. Said that he had to. It's not like that was a rare occurrence or anything, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he started driving. That night, though..."

His voice trails off, lips pressing together into a tight thin line. He takes a moment, clearing his throat before continuing.

"It was worse than usual. He had just stocked up on Wallingford Whiskey and we were on our way home from the distillery. I remember how cold it was that night because of how thick the snow was... but I don't remember why I went with him. I think that maybe I went to prevent him from driving? Or maybe I didn't want him to be alone in case something happened. I don't know."

With a heavy sigh, he glances up at the sky and shakes his head. "Whatever the reason, being with him put my life in danger. He was swerving so badly that he kept running cars off of the road. He wouldn't pull over no matter how much I begged him to. Cried for him to. I didn't think we would make it home... I was scared, you know? For my life, for his, and for every other car on the road. But what could I do?"

Jesse's eyes get that faraway look again and I know his mind has taken him back to that night.

"There was one car that swerved out of his way at the last second on this narrow curve..." The familiar muscle in his jaw jumps as he clenches and grits his teeth, his hand flexing and relaxing in mine. He lets out a long breath through his nose to calm himself, swallowing hard. "I tried to avoid them. I grabbed the wheel when it seemed like my dad wouldn't. I swerved and they did too. I was too afraid to look back to see what happened. But it sent me over the edge."

"I couldn't sit there and do nothing anymore. So, I grabbed my phone and called 911 to report him. I thought we could get pulled over and then he'd never be able to drive drunk again, you know? Get a DUI or spend the night in jail or something. I just wanted him to learn his lesson. Instead, I barely got out the words 'drunk driver' before he ripped the phone from my hand and chucked it at my head."