Remedy

Changing Your Mind

After consulting the Maurders map for Luna Lovegood's location, Harry walked into an almost empty classroom to find Luna bent over a long parchment, her quill scratching neatly. Luna's observations and comments often drove people's perceptions of her but Harry had always known that Luna Lovegood was definitely well-sorted into Ravenclaw. Luna easily saw things others missed, and she was never unkind about her knowledge.

Luna's look of serious concentration as she wrote her paper contrasted with her unkempt appearance and long, tangled hair. Her Ravenclaw patterned robe shifted with her arm movements and Harry could see the occasional gleam of the badge declaring her a prefect of her house.

"Most people do homework in the library, you know," Harry finally said letting Luna know of his presence.

Luna gave a small laugh, her quill not pausing, scratching at her parchment. "It's too loud there, it's much nicer in here, isn't it?"

Harry thought of Madam Pince's war on noise. He responded doubtfully, "Hmm. I suppose."

Luna dipped her quill back into her ink pot and turned to face him, not smiling exactly, but there was a subtle happiness about her. Harry envied that a little bit. Even though terrible things had happened to her, Luna seemed to skate on the surface of things, never falling into the dark depths that Harry frequently found himself trapped in.

"Did you look for me for a long time?" She paused after asking as if hearing his response even though he didn't speak. "I see, well that's good anyway."

Luna was so normally abnormal, hearing an answer he hadn't given. How could she manage to be so unaffected? Harry couldn't stop himself from starting to ask, "Why are you..." He stopped, the words escaping him.

Luna's silvery blue eyes crinkled a little and she stood up to approach him in the middle of the empty classroom her eyes inspecting the air above his head. "You look like you're getting a little better I think, Harry."

Harry looked away from her strangely knowing eyes and his gaze went to the tall windows on the far side of the classroom that looked out onto the black lake. "How could you bear to touch Malfoy after everything?"

Luna followed his impulsive question without a pause, accustomed from her own thoughts to following nonsequiturs. Her hand reached out and touched his chest lightly, "Our history makes us who we are, but it does not define us."

Harry gently knocked her hand away. "Malfoy had you in a bloody dungeon Luna."

"We all make mistakes."

Harry could feel the tension making his jaw clench. She seemed so flippant about what had to have been horrifying. He responded sharply despite his efforts to keep his voice even. "What mistakes have you made?"

Her bright gaze darkened and Harry opened his mouth to apologize, but Luna spoke before he could. "I let my mother die."

"Luna—"

"Don't ask questions if you don't want the answers, Harry Potter." Luna cut him off continuing. "I was watching her do her experiment when I was nine, you see. There was a voice inside me saying I should stop her in here." Luna brought her hand to her sternum, pressing hard. "But she told me to stay back and not to interrupt and so I didn't listen. I obeyed my mother."

"I'm sorry, Luna."

"Now, I listen." Her eyes inspected the air around him again. "Don't be sorry, Harry, I forgave myself. I know I will see my mother again and I want to be joyful when I see her. Not full of blame and regret."

Harry shook his head at Luna. "You did nothing wrong, you were a little kid listening to your parent."

Luna smiled at him and Harry could practically hear the words whispered in her voice.