Subdue-X

Rain On Wounds

I realized my attention span had shut down, my thoughts drifting into an abyss of numbness. A red ball bounced across the dirt road, capturing my gaze as if it held some hidden meaning. Everything moved in slow motion, the ball's path becoming the only thing in my world. I watched it gradually roll away, its bright color stark against the muddy ground, and then, just as suddenly, a man appeared in the center of the road.

Instinct took over. I slammed the brakes, the tires screeching against the wet earth, the car skidding violently. My heart pounded, and my breath caught in my throat, but when the car came to a stop, the man had vanished. Panic surged through me. I flung open the door, stumbling out into the downpour, my feet slipping in the mud as I rounded the vehicle, scanning the road and ditch for any sign of him-or the ball.

Nothing. No man, no ball. Just rain and darkness. My chest heaved as I ran a shaky hand through my wet hair, my fingers catching on tangles. I was panting heavily, my breaths short and frantic, my mind reeling with confusion. What had I seen? Was any of it real? Or was my mind playing tricks on me again, conjuring phantoms out of the shadows?

I sat on the edge of the car seat with my legs hanging outside, my feet planted in the cold, wet gravel. The rain was screaming down, each drop a sharp, icy sting against my skin. The night was lit up with bursts of lightning, splitting the sky into jagged pieces, the thunder rolling like a drumbeat in my chest. The car lights inside flickered dimly, casting a weak glow that did nothing to pierce the darkness around me.

What kind of life was this? I watched the storm, but it felt distant, like I was observing it through a fog, not really a part of it. Just like the ball and the man who never existed. A bad dream. A hallucination. The lightning flashed again, and for a brief second, I saw a figure standing in front of me. My heart jolted, and I jumped out of my body, my hands shooting out to shove him away, but he disappeared the moment I reached out.

Madness. This was the epitome of madness. My sanity was slipping away, lost to the storm and the shadows. I screamed, my voice raw and broken, the sound swallowed by the wind and the rain. I screamed again, until my throat burned, my cries merging with the howling of the storm. But no one could hear me out here. I was alone, trapped in this nightmare with no way out.

Desperate to feel something-anything-I tore off my bandages, yanking them violently from my skin. The wounds underneath were raw and scabbing over, angry red lines crisscrossing my arms. They looked no worse than a severe road rash, but the sight of them sent a shiver of pain up my spine. The rain pounded down, washing over the open cuts, and the dried blood started to run, streaking my pale skin and staining my white shirt a dark, rusty red.

I peeled the bandages from my neck, and immediately regretted it as I felt the healing tissue tear away with the fabric. A sharp, stinging pain radiated from the fresh wound, but I didn't care. I pressed my hands around the sides of my neck, leaning over, staring blankly at the gravel below me. The cold rainwater mixed with my blood, dripping onto the ground in a macabre dance. I could feel my heartbeat in my fingertips, throbbing in time with the rain.

Through the shock waves of thunder, my ringtone pierced the night, a shrill reminder of the world I was still a part of. It kept going off behind me, but I didn't budge. I couldn't. I was stuck in place, lost in the void, my mind numb to everything but the pain.

Perhaps what Pin meant by keeping weapons of hurt away from me wasn't about preventing me from hurting others. Maybe it was to keep me from hurting myself. The numbness was unbearable, a void that stretched on forever, swallowing up everything in its path. My emotions were trapped in that void, unreachable, untouchable, leaving me empty and cold.

I shook my head, trying to shake off the haze, but it clung to me like a second skin. I scoffed, sputtering on whatever was stuck in my windpipe, the rain pouring down my face as I tried to collect myself. His words echoed in my mind, reminding me that I could never truly go anywhere he couldn't find me. A truth I had never really been able to accept.