Subdue-X

A Loveless Necklace

I threw off the bathing suit and wrapped my arms around my bare chest, sinking underneath the heavy blankets on the still mattress. The scent of the brand-new fabric surrounded me, too fresh, too clean, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me. I clicked the TV remote, letting the colors and sounds wash over me, a weak attempt to distract from the gnawing emptiness.

My phone blinked as messages piled in, the screen lighting up the dark room like a beacon of dread. I picked it up, staring at the screen for a moment before hurling it across the room. It thudded against the dresser with a dull sound, mocking my futile gesture. He’d find me eventually; there was a tracker. A part of me wanted to smash it and drop it out the window, to sever that connection.

But in time, I’ll want to go home. The thought lingered, bitter and hollow. I tilted my head tiredly, dread curling in my stomach. When we found each other again, it wouldn’t be with an embrace or linked fingers. I loved him—I released a terrified exhale—but he was usually the monster in my nightmares.

I threw my feet off the bed and snatched the backpack, dragging it onto the mattress beside me. I draped the blanket over it, curling up beside it as if the weight could replace the warmth I used to find in Christian. I imagined him running his hand over my hair, his touch so familiar yet now a memory that felt like it belonged to someone else.

Pillows surrounded me, but they did little to muffle the world outside. Four steady bangs shattered the fragile peace. My heart leaped, and I bolted upright, grabbing the backpack and stumbling towards the balcony. I threw on a navy blue long-sleeve shirt and grey sweats left behind by the girl before me, my fingers trembling as I clipped the backpack to me.

My eyes darted around the room, desperate for something to protect myself. I ripped the lampshade off, seizing the rod and tearing it from the outlet. It was four in the morning according to my smartwatch, and the knocks were becoming more violent, reverberating through my core.

“Open the damn door,” a grim voice growled, sending a chill through my skull. I had no exit but the one he was blocking. I took a small step towards the door, intending to glance through the peephole, but another hit against the wood made me retreat. My gut twisted, and I shut the patio door behind me, jamming a chair under the handles. The rain outside was relentless, a constant reminder that I wasn’t in Alberta anymore.

The handle on the hotel room entrance snapped open, and a man in a pine green hoodie pushed through. His eyes were bloodshot, wild, and full of something dark. He marched towards the balcony, violently tugging at the knob of the patio door. His scrawny frame contrasted with his rage, his hands long and hairy, his chin bony, and his nose bridge scooped. I glanced at the drop from the balcony—it wasn’t an option. I’d perish for sure.

I shut my eyes and turned around, kicking the chair out from under the handles. The moment the glass doors swung open, I shoved the head of the lamp at his throat, but he clamped his fingers around it, his grip iron-like. My spine hit the railing as he pressed the lamp down towards my neck, the cold metal inching closer to my skin. I kicked him in the knee, again and again, until he shifted just enough for me to rotate out of his grasp.

I slipped past him, but he lunged for the backpack, yanking me back. Our skulls collided with a sickening crack, and I collapsed on the carpet, the weight of the bag pinning me down. His hands wrapped around my throat, choking the breath out of me as I dug my fingernails into his collarbone, desperation fueling my struggle. He laughed, a grating, sickening sound that echoed in my ears, his grip tightening as my vision started to blur.

Suddenly, something shot out from behind him, and his grip loosened. I rolled over, coughing and vomiting, gasping for air. Fists pounded into flesh, the sound of violence filling the room, but no matter how hard I tried, my body wouldn’t obey. I was paralyzed, trapped in a body that refused to fight back.

The attacker crumpled to the floor, and two pairs of boots crouched beside me. They tugged the bag off my back, and with the heaviness gone, I managed to sit up. Christian's face loomed above me, his eyes boring into mine, filled with a cold, unyielding fury. His pupils were flames, burning away any remnants of the man I once knew. I swallowed the air into my lungs, forcing myself to look away.

His hand latched onto my chin, compressing my jaw with brutal force. He didn’t speak—his silence was more terrifying than words. He shoved my face to the side, releasing his grip with a sharp motion that made my head snap back. I pulled myself to my feet, shaking, as he and another man carried the drug out of the room. I stood stooped over, holding my throat, watching them leave. He didn’t even glance back.

All he cared about was the merchandise. Not me. I was now temporary, short-lived. Not worth the emotional pain. I was no longer worth anything to him.

The room felt empty, cold, as if the life had been drained from it. I was numb, but not from the physical pain. The numbness was deeper, a void where there once was love and warmth. I sank to the floor, my back against the wall, staring at the door he had left through.

Christian had always been a storm in my life, unpredictable and powerful, but now he was something else entirely—a force that threatened to destroy me, piece by piece. I hugged my knees to my chest, my mind replaying the fight, the way his eyes had burned into me, the way he had ignored my pain.

Tears threatened to spill, but I held them back, the numbness refusing to let me break. I wanted to cry, to sob, to feel something, anything, but there was only emptiness. I had become a shell, a vessel for the pain, and now even that was slipping away.

He had killed the man. I hadn’t seen it, but I knew. Christian had taken a life to protect the drug, not me. The realization hit me like a punch to the gut, and I doubled over, gasping for air. The man who once held me close, whispered promises in the dark, had become a stranger, a monster. And I was left to face that monster alone.