BET MY HEART || taejin

19. Tantalus

the morning sun arrived a little too late, taehyung thought. he was tossing and jumping in his bed knowing that he wont be sleeping alone in the abandoned castle like a lonely Beast, he'll be having his Belle by his side beginning from tomorrow and moreover it was his mother's birthday. what a perfect day for seokjin to set his holy feet at his house

today was probably going to be a great day for him unless...

his father or his step mom try to act up during their peaceful family dinner

nevertheless it is still going to be a good day for him, seokjin had agreed to the contract and decided to give him a chance

afterall he tried so hard to convince seokjin and get him to agree to this, now finally, fucking finally seokjin was actually actually going to come stay with him for a month

taehyung thought it was a brave act, because its not an easy thing to just agree to stay with the one person who made your life miserable almost traumatic, made you suffer mercilessly, marred your soul and did the most pathetic things to you. taehyung can't even imagine what seokjin would've gone through as a teen, mom passing away at a young age, suddenly shifting to Seoul because of his dad's work, being bullied by peers, that was alot

and no child deserved to go through what seokjin faced, even despite all odds, he unflinchingly opted to save the one person who caused him the most pain

this thing about seokjin, his unchanging self that didn't expect anything from anyone, he just keeps giving to people even from the small teensy things he has without expecting anything in return, without expecting people to reciprocate, taehyung loved that. it was the best part about him, he was beautiful both inside and out

taking advantage of seokjin's forgiving nature, taehyung was trying his luck and he was no different from every single person that hurted him, he knew he was asking for alot from seokjin, he was selfish and he wouldn't entirely be surprised if seokjin dumps him and decides to go his way, somewhere far far away from him, he would be heartbroken and would never recover from the pain of being dumped by seokjin but, being surprised would be his last reaction

sometimes taehyung found himself to be intolerably selfish and shameless because most of the time its not the fear of loosing seokjin that scares him but its that he's given so many pieces of himself to him that he cannot afford to let seokjin go, letting him go literally meant going back to the rooftop in school and jumping off from there, life would have no meaning without him

taehyung would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and beat himself to make use of every equipment in the gym, it hurt so much to know that he would never be good for seokjin and yet he loved him, it felt like he was Tantalus, the forbidden fruit, always with him but forever eluding him

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taehyung trudges up the worn out path to the cemetry, his car was parked on the highway and he had specifically asked his driver to not accompany him, there were alot of things that he wanted to talk about with his mom, alot of confrontations and sweet gossips he wanted to share with his mom and judging by how quiet it was and none of his family was here, he knew he came a little earlier than the fixed time

good thing. he could leave before his family arrives and puts up an unbearably fake, overdramatic show, pretending like they actually gave a shit when she was alive and taehyung wouldn't think twice before throwing bricks on his step mom's face if she came here and sobbed or even uttered "my sister"

he'll leave before he's forced to witness the drama because he would definitely loose his cool if he saw those wicked heathens coming here to pay their respects to his mom