Nandini

Chapter 34- Pazhavoor Ilaya Rani

"This is what I saw"

She realised as she saw her reflection in the water. A mad woman with loose hair and tears flowing out of her eyes looked her back. After Periya Pazhuvettarayar declared that he is going to marry her, Nandini didn't have the will and energy to do anything. Some ladies dragged her to the pond, changed her bandages and adorned her in different ways. She could hear soldiers singing and dancing about the marriage of their commander.

She remembered her old nightmares. Back then, she thought she died and her soul is levitating above her. Isn't this what she saw? So same, but different. She didn't know how to explain it, but different. Why hasn't she died yet? Don't women die of broken heart in stories and songs? Lies, all lies.

She should have let aapathudaivikal burn her alive. How foolish was she to think that the heir of a kingdom would spare his mortal enemy because some girl who used to smile at him begged him?Why didn't she run away when they allowed her and what possessed her to flee to this lecher? Though injured Veera Pandyan was hallucinating about unspeakable things, she didn't fear for her honour like this even when she was alone with those men.

Honour!

She is indeed honoured!! His thirumangalyam weighed on her neck like kaala paasam itself. Isn't that an honour? When she saw Periya Pazhuvettaraiyar giggling bashfully like a 14 year old boy who recieved the first kiss from his girlfriend, she felt like banging the pots on his face.

°----------°

Nandini has never met a group of indifferent ladies in her life. Eight women of various ages led a procession of ladies. All of them looked like they'd rather be somewhere else. If he already had eight wives, why did he marry her? Isn't there no end to men's lust? She remembered another procession of ladies with aarati thattam welcoming a boy who returned from war. No, that was another lifetime. Forget it.

She got down from her palanquin. Periya Pazhuvettaraiyar wanted her to ride an elephant with him but she managed to avoid that humiliation by lying that she doesn't like other men gawking at her. He looked very proud of his wife's virtue 

She touched the feet of the ladies one by one. All ladies circulated the plate before her face and put sindooram on her forehead, "Deergha sumangali bhava (May your husband live for a long time)". Pazhavoor Ilaya Rani (The Junior Queen of Pazhavoor), that's what they called her. The senior wives took her inside and enquired about her name, family, why hasn't she married till now, how did she meet their husband, etc. They seemed like different people in their privacy, chatting like curious young girls. That man didn't even bother to ask her name! She was truthful about her Vaishnavite background but lied that her older sister refused to get married and that affected her prospects. Forgive me, akka. She got seperated from her foster family during the war and Pazhuvettaraiyar kindly rescued her from a band of thugs.

"I will take it from here. You all go and oversee the arrangements", the eldest wife dismissed others. She looked very old and regal. She held Nandini's shoulders when she tried to bend down and made her sit on the couch.

"You are very beautiful and young, younger than our granddaughters".

The lady sighed and continued.

"Don't worry, this is your destiny. Your mother must have told you many things about married life. But forget whatever you have dreamed till now and listen to me carefully. We are staunch Shaivaites and Durga Parameshwari is our tutelary deity. You have to learn the prayers and customs. Our husband maybe the treasurer now, but this is a warrior clan. We conduct ourselves in a manner befitting that. Do you understand?"

Nandini didn't understand much except that she should worship Parameshwaran and Durga Parameshwari but she nodded, not wanting to offend the elderly lady. She gifted a knife to Nandini.

"Devi, I don't know how to use this except to chop vegetables".

"Child, the most valuable ornament of a woman is her chastity, not these gold and flowers. You should protect it at all costs. If you can't use it on others, you may use it on yourself". Nandini took it excitedly and thanked the lady profusely. Just the thing she needs right now.

"Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Mantri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu Lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Kuladharma Patni. That is, an ideal wife works like a slave, advises like a minister, feeds like a mother, pleases her husband like Rambha, looks beautiful like Lakshmi, and forgives everything like the earth".

Isn't Parameshwaran's wife his ardhangini, who has equal share in everything? If they worship him, shouldn't these men follow that as well? She seemed to have understood her apprehension.

"Fortunately, you don't have to do everything. You are the youngest wife of our husband. We have divided the duties amongst ourselves. Do you understand?"

Nandini nodded.

"We are the the luckiest women in the world, but our servants will be happier than us. Many ladies including myself had the fortune of decorating this esteemed position till now. Now the mantle has fallen on your shoulder too. We all are sisters, regardless of our age. Beware that time always moves forward and treat everyone with respect".

Nandini understood the implication very well. She shouldn't mistreat the older wives forgetting that her favoured position comes with an expiry date, that is, until another woman catches his fantasy.

°----------°

A group of maids took her to a pond and bathed her again. They dried her hair with fragrant smoke and adorned her again with flowers and jewellery.  When she asked for a shawl to cover her shoulders, they teased her that their Lord is going to take off all her clothes but finally relented. Then they sang obscene songs about the nupital night of different couples. She felt like Sita trapped in Ashokavani with rakshasis. At least Sita could hope that Raman will come for her. Her Perumal has abandoned her.

Is she going to let another man have his way with her? Not when she is alive. He might be a powerful man with an army, authority and a palace, but not her heart. She was formulating a plan in her mind. Will this work? Even seasoned warriors like apathudaivigals shiver thinking about him. What is stopping him from doing whatever he wishes to a small weak girl? She needs to seduce him to keep him away. What an irony!