Hiding Sparrows

20. Gave pause

"I have to say, Robin, I'm really impressed with how your work ethic has turned around these past few weeks."

I was standing in my manager, Delia's office, awkwardly fiddling with my lime green apron while she talked. I avoided looking at her.

"No, really Robin," Delia urged. "You should be proud of yourself. You've been committed, and switched on. Your till hasn't been out once. It's a real improvement."

"Thank you," I muttered.

"No worries. And hey, if you keep up the good work, you could be in the running for a line leader position. How does that sound?"

So, $31 an hour rather than $28. Great, that's gonna really put a dent in my debt to Jack.

"That sounds great, Delia. Thank you so much," I gave her my best winning smile. She nodded.

"Just keep up the good work, Robin, and we'll talk about it. Okay, I'll let you go now. I'm sure you have more important things to be doing."

Yes, like wallowing in my inevitable fate.

I gave her a final wave and left the office, going to collect my things. It was the Tuesday after the poker party, and I was getting antsy. I hadn't heard from Ty all weekend, bar a text telling me he'd be in touch when he needed me.

I had tried and failed not to think about him, or what he said in the car, but his words wound up playing on repeat in my head. What did he mean? Was it me, was he just not that into me?

I hated how hung up I was about it.

But no amount of mediocre sex with Heath (who came over again on Sunday, and fell asleep halfway through Transformers: Revenge of the fallen) would make up for how shit Ty made me feel.

"I know you want me," he'd said.

The coy bastard.

As though he didn't want me. I don't know what I was expecting. It wasn't like he seemed like the commitment type. But still, it stung every time I thought about the way he'd pulled away. "I got carried away."

Thinking of the line again, my jaw stiffened and I punched the wall of the break room out of frustration. I'd been going to collect my stuff, by had zoned out packing my bag, thinking about Ty.

"Umm, are you okay?" I heard a tentative voice say behind me. I turned around, to find one of the new girls standing there. She was older than the other casuals, in her late twenties I think, but with a kind of punk-rock IDGAF energy. God, what was her name? Maya? Mel?

"Oh yeah, sorry. I'm fine," I said.

Max? May? Or maybe it was a T, like Taylor, or...

"Saylor," she said, smirking. When she saw my confused look, she shrugged. "You had that look on your face like you couldn't figure something out. Given that we've only talked, like, once, I figured it would be my name."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm-"

"Robin." She smiled. "I remember. So, what did that wall ever do to you?"

I glanced at my fist, which was still resting against the wall where I'd hit it. Shaking my hand, I pulled it away. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Just... guy shit, you know?"

"God, yeah, they suck," she said. "Exactly why I switched teams. Although girl shit isn't much better, to be honest."

I nodded awkwardly, looking down at my bag. "Right, well... it was nice to chat..." I trailed off, embarrassed to have forgotten her name so quickly.