Hiding Sparrows

15. The wrong idea

While I showered, all I could think was a string of profanities.

What the fuck did I just do? Shit did that just happen? Will this just screw me over? Have I just signed my soul to the devil?

But then, alongside all my doubts was one thought that kept repeating, over and over.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, that felt good.

So fucking good. I hadn't had sex that good for a long, long, time.

Don't get me wrong. Heath, he looked after me. But when I slept with Heath, it was as though I was just doing it for the sake of it. To let out that tension, and get it stress out of my system.

With Ty, though...

I could feel myself getting hot again just thinking about it.

So, I tried not to dwell on it, showered quickly, then stepped out.

It was as the cold air hit me that I started to doubt myself. What if he got the wrong idea? I didn't want him to think I wanted anything more out of him. Or that I wouldn't still pay off my debt. God, what if he looked down on me because of what just happened? Thought I was just some kind of silly girl with a crush, that he had to satiate with a quick finger fuck.

Though it wasn't logical, the more I thought about it, the more I spiralled.

By the time I got out of the shower, I'd convinced myself I had just embarrassed myself, and that Ty was just appeasing me to be polite.

Because that makes sense. Not.

Once I was dressed, I wandered out to the kitchen and cleared my throat. "Ty, I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea or anything."

He raised an eyebrow. "And what idea is that?"

I nervously fiddled with the hem of my dress. "Just, I don't want you to think I'm... I don't know. Like that."

He shook his head, standing up and stepping towards me. "'Aight, none of that little bird," he said, gently taking the hand that was fiddling with my dress and holding it in his. "Answer me this. Did you enjoy what just happened?"

I hesitated, "I just don't-"

"Nah, Robin, answer the question. Did you enjoy what just happened?"

I slowly nodded.

"Right, and are you an adult that can make her own decisions about what she wants and does?"

"Yeah," I murmured.

"Then you do not have to feel ashamed. You are allowed to enjoy it, and that does not make you any of the pretty little names that are running through your head right now. Understood?"

I slowly nodded. He was right. But before I could dwell on it too much, he cleared his throat.

"Aight, little bird. We got shit to discuss," he said.

"Huh?" I said, like a dumbass.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "I told you, little bird. We got business matters to attend to."

I shrugged. "I figured that was just a line, something to make Heath leave so you could... you know."

"Nah," he said. "What just happened was just a detour, that I was expecting might happen after that scene in the dressing room this morning."

"Expecting?" I echoed, horrified.

He shook his head and leant across to place his hand on my leg. His fingers trailed over my skin and he gave a small smirk before whispering, "Oh, don't get me wrong little bird. I was hoping it would happen."

Then he pulled away again and I had to remind myself to breathe.

"But I also have to talk to you about work. We have some details we need to sort out."

"Details? You've hardly told me how I'm even working. Just that we're going to a party."

"Mmm, and you're gonna work that party hard little bird."

My eyes went wide. "Wait you mean..."

He realised what I was saying and shook his head, a dark glimmer in his eyes. "Oh, no baby. Not work like that. You're classier than that. Besides, I had to stop myself from beating on your little boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," I said, to hide the fact that guilt had flared inside me, the claws of my past sinking in deep. Ty smirked, not noticing my discomfort. Or, chalking it up to the flirting.

"Nah, really?" He said sarcastically. "You hadn't mentioned."

"Alright, whatever," I bristled. "So if it's not... that, what is it?"

He cocked his head and lifted a hand to gently touch my chin.

"You ever played poker?" He asked.

I bristled. Fuck, does he know?

He seemed to notice my uneasiness and raised an eyebrow. "Relax, it was just a question, I'm not about to shoot you if you haven't."

"I have," I said, biting my lip. Maybe just chill, Robin.

"I want you to help me with a game," he said.

"You want me to run a game?" I said.

He scoffed. "Bold. I like it. No, Robin. I want you to be the ray of sunshine on the front desk. The numbers. The smiling face that convinces these boys to give away old pop's investment money."

"You want me to be the shiny thing that distracts them, makes them feel confident so they swing big."

"So clever," he said, smiling. "You got it exactly."

I bit my lip, thinking of Jack, and Melbourne. I was fucked if I saw someone I knew. But from the sounds of it, it would be a totally different crowd. I could fuck around with the hedge fund babies. That was okay. If I was lucky, I might even be able to make a further dent in my debt. Pay of my debt on two fronts.

"Ok, I'm in," I said, looking up.

He raised an eyebrow. "You thought you had a choice? We're well past that, little bird."

I sheepishly looked down and he reached across and tilted my head back up.

"You didn't let me finish. As well as being a good little bling charm, I have a task for you. In fact, it's an old pastime of yours."

My heart skipped a beat. "What's that?"

He grinned.

"You're gonna steal some jewellery."