Hiding Sparrows

5. Colour Me Curious

I hid the money in my pantry, inside some empty cereal boxes. Then, I tried not to think about what I'd done.

I was almost successful, too. Almost. Every so often, I'd be reminded of it like a ghost, haunting me at random moments; the flash of an expensive earring or a policeman walking down the street. I saw the old lady again, about a week later, shopping for groceries like anyone else. The very sight of her made my stomach turn. Thankfully, she checked out at another register, but I still had to spend about twenty minutes afterwards, composing myself.

To try to distract myself, I devoted my time to my work. I put in ten minutes extra work than I was paid for each shift, and double and triple checked my counts when I was on closing. When we were low on traffic, I busied myself folding coupons into magazines, and reading up on the current fresh produce knowledge, what was in season, what had been winning awards, etcetera.

Delia pulled me aside when I was leaving one day to pat me on the shoulder and tell me she knew I had it in me. I just gave her a small smile.

I started dodging Heath, avoiding talking to him at work and responding to his texts like an uninterested nun. He noticed, of course, and questioned me about it, and about whether he'd done something wrong, but I told him I just needed space.

He gave it to me.

I knew I was spiralling. I could see it happening, just like I'd seen it happen before. Falling down, and down, and down. It wasn't even just about the jewellery, either. I felt like I was constantly evading the inevitable, trying not to think about Jack, about Melbourne, about what happened down there. The nightmares that had disappeared for so long came back, so I stopped sleeping. The guilt was making me feel sick, so I stopped eating.

I felt like I was going off the rails, losing it, and there was nothing to stop my chaos.

But I just kept working, just kept living, and tried to hold on.

Then, there was him.

It was a Tuesday night when he first came in. I was the only one on checkout, and the store was pretty much empty except for one girl, restocking in the back corner, restocking the toothpaste. It was because it was so empty that I noticed his arrival.

The moment he walked in, I didn't want to look away. He was unlike our usual customers, unlike really anyone in the area. He was tall, with smooth olive skin, and arms decorated with ink. Lean, but fit, with a face that said, don't fuck with me, and an attitude to match. You could tell by looking at him that he was bad news.

Then he looked across, straight at me. Our eyes linked, and my cheeks burned red. I quickly looked down, but it was too late. The damage was done.

I heard his footsteps stalking across the linoleum. Towards me. Staring at the till, I pretended to be busy. Then he cleared his throat, and I was forced to look up.

"Hi there," I said, forcing out my customer service voice. "What can I do for you?"

He glanced at my name tag and gave me a smug smile. "Hey, Robin is it? Yeah, I was hoping you might be able to help me find something."

I nodded, giving him a fake smile. "Certainly, what was it that you were after?"

He paused, watching me. Then, after a long moment, he leant against the counter so that his face was inches from mine. He tilted his head, looking at my lips. My pulse quickened.

Then, he spoke, his voice barely a whisper.

"I'm looking for some jewellery."

It felt my heart stop. Struggling to breathe, I looked away, trying to formulate words, trying to figure out what was going on.